Should Have Called It ‘Butt’ Boarding

Common wisdom has it that the reason so many women get into snowboarding is because it’s easy. Wrong.

Here’s a little taste of what your first few days on the slopes might be like.

First, you’ll need gear. Boots and board (with bindings) are rentable, usually for under $40 a day. Snow pants are required, but not always up for rent. (Sans snow pants, your bottom will be wet and miserable all day--sort of like being a baby all over again). They cost between $70 and $150. A good pair of waterproof gloves is also in order. Then you’ll need lift tickets (often in the $40 range). And if you don’t have an experienced and patient friend, a lesson is highly recommended (tack on $20 and up).

Your instructor will have you cruise up to the bunny slope on a lift, strap in and “scrape” your way down. This involves a controlled wipeout down the hill, with the board perpendicular to the trail. You’ll practice this front-side (facing the mountain) and back-side.

You will fall. A lot.

It goes something like this: Scrape. Scrape. Scrape. Fall on your butt. Scrape. Fall on your hands. Scrape. Fall on your butt. Scrape. Butt. . . .

Once you are thoroughly bruised, you are probably ready to do turns. In this stage, you point your board directly down the slope and turn into a scraping stop. Next, you’re ready to turn right and then turn left--an “S” turn. You use the scrape to stop at the bottom.

Now, you might be ready for a beginner’s slope--an orgy of sensational “S” turns and, of course, falling on your butt.