Surprise Packages

Call it the rebirth of romanticism in the delivery room. The number of parents who choose to wait until D-day before they hear those joyful words, “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!” is rising.

For almost a generation, ultrasound technology and genetic testing have put expectant parents who want to know whether to buy pink or blue in the majority. But now, as many as half of them opt for the old-fashioned surprise.

“Wanting to know the baby’s sex usually depends on the number of children the parents already have,” says Dr. Steven Golde, director of maternal-fetal medicine at St. Joseph Medical Center in Burbank.

“On the first baby I’d say about 50% don’t want to know. Especially when there’s genetic testing, the mysteries of life are pretty much revealed. The baby’s sex can be the only element of surprise for the expectant couple.”

But for subsequent babies, Golde says the numbers who want to know ahead of time increases to almost 80%.

Age is another factor, says Glendale obstetrician Dr. Kim Bader: “Older couples want to plan. They are more pragmatic.”

Despite practicality, Bader and Golde say the numbers who want to be surprised are up.

“A lot of people think that not knowing is the only fun part left,” Bader says.

Sharon Wunderlich, a Canyon Country mom, agrees. “After finding out I was having a girl with my first pregnancy, all I had to look forward to was the labor,” she says.

With her second pregnancy, she and husband Jeff chose to be surprised. “It left us with some mystery and excitement before the due date,” she says.

Now the Wunderlich girls, Amy, 6, and Jennifer, 2, have a baby brother to look forward to in May. Wunderlich says her third pregnancy came as such a shock that she and Jeff decided in favor of planning over surprise.

“Now we know it’s a boy, we can get ready,” she says.

Keeping parents’ wishes straight and test results on the QT can be a dicey proposition for medical personnel in the know.

“I always ask the parents if they want to know the baby’s sex if I see it during an ultrasound,” Bader says. “If they don’t, I just don’t write it down. If the sex is confirmed with genetic testing and they still don’t want to know, I cover the results with a sticky note. This method has never failed us in this office.”

Yet, Bader says that even when couples say they don’t want to know, it drives them crazy to know that someone else does.

“Most couples are looking for any nuance of a clue, even if they don’t want to know,” says Kaci Ewing, a sonographer at St. Joseph. Like many ultrasound technicians, Ewing starts the procedure with the disclaimer that it’s not always possible to tell if the fetus is a boy or girl. Unlike genetic testing, ultrasounds are not 100% accurate.

“I also tell them that it’s easier for me to refer to the fetus as ‘him’ and that they shouldn’t read anything into my words,” she says. Ewing says that only once in seven years has she inadvertently spilled the beans.

Paulina Williams of Glendale, due with her second boy in May, says it’s not only parents who crave the mystery a pregnancy renders.

During her pregnancy with son Kai, now 2, Williams found a majority of people supported the couple’s decision to wait until delivery. “They’d get all excited and tell me, ‘That’s how it should be,’ ” she says. “They seemed to want that old-fashioned mystery.”

This time around, though, Williams and husband Kimo are enjoying knowing that they can plan for bunk beds.