A rotating panel of experts from the worlds of philosophy, psychology and religion offer their perspective on the dilemmas that come with living in Southern California.

Today’s question: Some gays and lesbians live in committed relationships and symbolized that union with a religious rite, although legally they are not recognized as married. In most social situations you can imagine, if you were asked to introduce the couple before a meeting, would you usually honor the couples’ self-description or avoid doing so for reasons of tact or personal conviction?

The Rev. Warner Traynham

Rector, St. John’s Episcopal Church, Los Angeles

I believe gay people should be able to have their continuing relationships recognized in law and by religious rite as heterosexuals do. Therefore, I would not wish to mask the fact for reasons of tact or conviction. Further, if it were appropriate to introduce these persons as a couple, out of respect and in the absence of conventional terms, I would have to use any reasonable term that they might use to describe themselves, such as lover, partner, mate, etc. Terms like “married” or “husband and wife” open up other issues of accuracy and traditional meaning that I would probably want to avoid.

Dennis Prager

KABC talk show host and author of “Think a Second Time”

I would avoid publicly (i.e., in “social situations”) introducing a same-sex couple as “Jerry and his husband” or “Jennifer and her wife” even if such were their preferred self-description. I would do so with no antagonism toward the two people, and with sincere wishes for their personal and mutual happiness. But while we need to be compassionate to individuals, when it comes to society our first concern has to be with standards. In this instance, the standard is the societal ideal of male-female monogamous marriage. That some people will wish to unite permanently with a same-sex partner or with more than one partner is their prerogative. But society is not obligated to publicly acknowledge such unions as the equal of marriage.

Donald E. Miller

Professor of religion, USC

The moral tension here is one of honoring the covenant that has been made between two people of the same sex, but not “outing” them in a way that would lead to discrimination. Some couples whose relationship has been ritually solemnized within a religious community may nevertheless remain closeted at work. Therefore, I would do the common-sense thing of asking them how they would like to be introduced. If they wish to be identified as married or partners or simply friends, I would honor their desire. Personally, I strongly affirm the blessing of covenants between gay and lesbian couples, holding them to the same standards of sexual integrity within marriage as I do heterosexual couples.