Hard Line Strategies

They’re the scourge of family trips. They always take too long. They make us shiver in the cold and sweat in the sun. They make us so edgy that we snap at the kids, our significant others and sometimes, even at strangers.

But here we are again, waiting in line. Sometimes it seems we spend our entire vacations getting in one line and out of another.

That’s because they’re everywhere: at ski resorts on a busy weekend or a hot new traveling museum exhibit such as America’s Smithsonian. You can count on them at theme parks and resort buffets. You can’t even escape them at historic sites. My family waited more than an hour to climb the cramped stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty.

“I’m a big baby about lines,” said Chicago pediatrician Jeffrey Fireman. “I think it’s such a waste of time. I’m so angry by the time I get to the front that I can’t enjoy the attraction.”

Of course, he does it anyway, when his two kids insist. “Waiting in line teaches an important life lesson,” he jokes: “You can’t always be first.”

But you can decide whether or not to wait. Let the kids help decide, suggests child psychologist Don Wertlieb, chief of Tufts University’s child development department.

“If they’ve bought into the decision to wait, they’ll be more willing to endure the line,” Wertlieb said. “They’ll feel a lot better than if they are just dragged along.”

Be forewarned that you may not be thrilled with their decision. “I find it amazing all of my kids think it’s worth waiting 1 1/2 hours to ride Space Mountain for just a few minutes,” Wertlieb said.

Other parents practice avoidance at all costs. “I just won’t put myself in that situation,” said Martha Melvoin, who lives in Los Angeles and has two sons. “It’s one of my phobias.”

She opts for Disneyland when it’s raining and heads for movies half an hour before screening time. “And I absolutely won’t go see anything on the first day.”

Some companies even study ways to make waiting in line more palatable. “There’s a whole science to it, from the direction the lines go to how long people will wait. We know how they feel about the wait will directly impact their experience,” said Linda Buckley, a spokesman for Universal Studios in Orlando, Fla.

Like other theme parks, Universal increasingly provides diversions to help keep those waiting from getting too exasperated. It’s called “pre-show entertainment” and it ranges from videos that explain the attraction to visits from costumed characters. At Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando, Fla., kids can play free video games while they wait at some attractions. When it’s really hot, vendors make the rounds so those waiting can quench their thirst without losing their spot.

Families with older children may want to designate one line-waiter to represent the group--usually Mom or Dad. That way everyone’s not stuck fidgeting and fuming for an hour.

Wertlieb suggests that parents use the time to tune in to their children’s lives.

“It’s a great time to strike up a conversation,” said Wertlieb, who has waited in plenty of lines with his own three children. “Waiting in line is like driving the carpool. It’s one of the few opportunities parents have to talk to the kids.”

That can be tough to do when the kids are toddlers. In that case, it’s wise to go with a partner so that you can alternate waiting. Young children won’t last more than 10 or 15 minutes, advises Pat Shimm, associate director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development and co-author of “Parenting Your Toddler” (Addison Wesley, $11). “Don’t forget a stroller.”

Waiting in line with children can be even more difficult because a young child’s sense of time is very different from an adult’s, explains Michael Jellinek, chief of child psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital.

They may have trouble staying in one place--or even understanding why it’s necessary. That’s why it’s wise to have diversions on hand for kids of all ages, experienced waiters say. That might mean hand-held electronic games or a Walkman for the older set; crayons, paper and books for the younger crowd. I won’t go anywhere near a line without a bottle of water, a stash of snacks and knowing exactly where to find the nearest bathroom.

Chicagoan Wendy Carmichael kept her 5-year-old daughter, Laura, amused in line at Disney World by singing songs she had recently learned in preschool.

New Jersey graphic designer Ira Berkowitz tried to explain the wait in terms his daughter and son would understand: He likened it to eight episodes of their favorite TV show.

“While you’re waiting, it’s harder on the kids,” Berkowitz said. “But once it’s done, they don’t remember the wait. They remember the attraction. You remember the wait.”

Taking the Kids appears the first and third week of every month.