Choosing to Live in Thousand Oaks
* Re: “Suburb Life Is a Bust,” appearing May 5, by Miguel Bustillo.
My husband, roommate and I were featured in an article recently discussing young adults in the Conejo Valley. There were some very important points that were left out of the article that I would like to make now.
Our understanding was that we would be contributing to a story that would dispel some of the myths about our generation while pointing out some of the valid concerns that we have about our future and place in the Conejo Valley. Unfortunately what was written was a story that sounded very negative and whiny, the very thing we had hoped to dispel.
Although there are things we do complain about, we are not expecting others to change the conditions for us. We are taking responsibility for ourselves and redefining our place in life. It is not a matter of Thousand Oaks changing the cost of living so we can afford it, it is rather that we hope we can change the way we are perceived and dealt with in our community.
We like to call Thousand Oaks a “bedroom” community. To me, “bedroom” implies a fair amount of intimacy. If the people who raise their families here lose their children to distant towns, how do we maintain that kind of intimacy? I would suspect that Beverly Hills has very little of the community intimacy that we strive for here in the Conejo Valley. In a time where many of us don’t even know our neighbors, how can we continue to call this a bedroom community if we don’t maintain a close relationship with our own families?
The article had the potential of opening further discussion about how we might more creatively help young adults find their place in the local community. Things like making it easier to qualify for a home loan, lobby new construction to include smaller homes at a more reasonable cost, encouraging local business to more actively recruit employees from the area before looking elsewhere, etc. I don’t think we feel the Conejo Valley has “yanked the welcome mat” especially since most of us grew up here and rarely use the front door!
I consider myself successful because I live in Thousand Oaks, close to my family and friends, by whatever means I have to. If that means having roommates instead of children for a while, then we will be better for it. I’m happier than I ever have been.
On a more personal level, the article made some references to my relationship and living conditions by stating that my husband and I had been “hitched” and then “shacked up” with his mother for a year. This was a most demeaning reference to a very loving relationship and rewarding living experience. What a relief I wasn’t pregnant and therefore “knocked up!”
MARA ANTOS
Thousand Oaks
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* Re: Your article on the plight of Gen Xers trying to make a go of it in the Conejo Valley.
It’s interesting that the only alternative any of those interviewed for the piece ever discuss is L.A. County, which they reject as being too harsh for their delicate psyches. It never seems to have occurred to any of them that there’s a whole world beyond Los Angeles and Ventura counties that might be worth exploring. One shudders to think what would happen to this country if Pat Buchanan ever actually became president and imposed his five-year moratorium on all immigration. We’d be overrun with home-grown whiners in no time.
Legal or illegal, immigrants are the only people who still express confidence in the American dream with their labor and their lives. Maybe for the next election we ought to have a proposition that makes it mandatory for every Californian over 18 to live outside the state for one year.
DAN RILEY
Thousand Oaks