‘Orchards’ Yields Unfruitful Venture

If you must attend “Orchards” at the Raven Playhouse--and it’s not advised--you may want to pack a sleeping bag and emergency provisions. With intermission, the show runs almost 3 1/2 hours, which, given the quality of the production, seems like eternity and a half.

This misbegotten anthology offers seven major playwrights--David Mamet, Spalding Gray, John Guare, Samm-Art Williams, Maria Irene Fornes, Wendy Wasserstein and Michael Weller--adapting short stories by Russian master Anton Chekhov. It sounds promising, but the whole thing falls horribly flat.

Despite the big names involved, the quality of the writing is uneven. In his charming but overlong contribution, Williams reconfigures “The Eve of the Trial” as a campy, ‘40s-style radio drama. Fornes’ “Drowning,” played with masks and in slow motion, becomes a ludicrously pretentious sob story, while “Rivkala’s Ring” (based, if you can call it that, on Chekhov’s “The Witch”), proves how dependent Gray’s monologues are on his inimitably quirky presence and timing.

The directors--Mitchell S. Levine, Aimee Patrick, Sandra L. Dreger and Diann McCannon--are in over their heads, with the young cast free to indulge in community-theater-style mugging.

* “Orchards,” Raven Playhouse, 5233 Lankershim Blvd., North Hollywood. Fridays-Saturdays,8 p.m. Ends July 6. $15. (818) 955-5391. Running time: 3 hours, 25 minutes.