Buy Now! Get Your Piece of Paradise, a Home on the Marin Headlands

A television commercial lures visitors to Muir Woods, turned into an amusement park where children can “enjoy realistic forest fires every seven minutes.”

A radio ad urges listeners to buy homes in “Wavy Acres,” a pristine preserve once known as Marin Headlands National Park.

Listeners can feel their eyebrows rise as they wonder if they’ve missed something. When were these treasures sold?

They can be excused if they think the ads are real. After all, they were done by pros. But then comes the punch line that serves as a warning: The public better invest in its national parks “or someone else will.”

The ads are part of a satirical campaign to persuade the public that the 21 parks making up the Golden Gate National Recreation Area around San Francisco Bay are worth fighting for.

A public support group, the Golden Gate Park National Parks Assn., joined forces with Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, the San Francisco ad agency that designed the popular “Got Milk?” television commercials.

“If people don’t think that their national parks are important, we can’t expect elected officials to come to their defense,” said Brian O’Neill, Golden Gate National Recreation Area superintendent.

O’Neill also hopes that the ads will end the Golden Gate’s identity problems.

“We hadn’t realized the extent of it until we did a survey,” he said, explaining that many people don’t know exactly what the recreation area, a national park, consists of.

The ads should help make the whole equal the sum of its parks, so to speak. The public certainly recognizes the individual units, which together form an enormous greenbelt along 28 miles of coastline in San Francisco, San Mateo and Marin counties.

One of the most popular parts of the national park system, the area’s 116 square miles of open space and greenery are visited by 20 million people a year. In addition to Muir Woods, the attractions include the Presidio, Marin Headlands, the 101-square-mile Point Reyes National Seashore and Alcatraz.

“Our goal was to use humor to get people’s attention,” said Rich Silverstein, the ad agency’s creative director.

Take these lines from the Muir Woods ad: “Welcome to Paul Bunyan’s Wild World of Wood. Formerly Muir Woods National Park. Chop down a smelly old redwood tree. Learn chain saw dos and don’ts. Blast away at spawning salmon.”

Or the radio ad for “Wavy Acres,” in which the announcer touts the benefits of living in condos in an area “once wasted on an unappreciative public.”

“Wavy Acres is now completely--100%--private,” he intones in an aristocratic accent. “This gated community is protected by 8-foot walls to keep out unwanted bird-watchers, hikers and associate professors.”

There’s also the radio plug for “Bob’s Beach Boardwalk, formerly Stinson Beach National Park.”

“What was once desolate, unexciting wilderness is now the world’s most brightly lit boardwalk,” says the voice, adding that the opportunities include a chance to “throw cotton candy at real live seals.”

Silverstein says last year’s government shutdown of several national parks showed the need for an effort to persuade the public not to take the area for granted.

Silverstein knows his subject well. He’s on the board of trustees of the association, a 9,500-member volunteer group.

“I know every pothole in the Presidio,” he says.