McGovern Hopes Daughter’s Death Will Teach Others

It wasn’t easy going public, but former Sen. George McGovern says he wrote a book about the death of his alcoholic daughter in hopes of helping other families realize they’re dealing with sick people who need their support and love.

But “Terry” has failed to answer the question that has haunted McGovern since his daughter’s death on Dec. 12, 1994. Was his political ambition a factor?

“I have no way of knowing,” McGovern said.

Politicians, like other people, may sometimes “become so involved in their own career responsibilities that there is neglect of their children,” he said. “Perhaps if I had been more closely involved in the growing years I could have helped more in encouraging her recovery.”

Although McGovern describes writing the book as “the most painful undertaking in my life,” he hopes that it will encourage more people to think of alcoholism as a disease and treat alcoholics more compassionately.

“My father was a clergyman and always said: ‘Hate the sin but love the sinner.’ We should do the same: Hate alcoholism but love the alcoholic,” McGovern said.

“I hope [the book] will be a warning and a help to other alcoholics . . . and a lesson to others not to direct their anger and resentment towards the victims but at the disease,” he added.

In “Terry,” McGovern interviews his daughter’s friends and excerpts parts of her diary. One of the entries, made about 3 1/2 years before Terry died, ironically reads:

“If someone looks too closely, I freeze like a chameleon--ready to change color . . . to protect myself. Better to freeze--who can hurt me when I’m frozen?”

Terry McGovern, 45, was found dead in the snow in Madison, Wis., where she had been receiving treatment at a detoxification center. An autopsy showed she died of “hypothermia due to exposure” while drunk. She left two children of her own, who live with their father.

Terry’s troubles began at 13, when her first boyfriend introduced her to alcohol. At 15, she had an abortion; in 1968, when she was 19, she was arrested for possession of marijuana during her father’s first presidential foray; a year later, she attempted suicide.

The former Democratic presidential nominee and his wife, Eleanor, did what they thought was proper to help their daughter, the third of their five children.

They sent her to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, took her to see psychiatrists, enlisted her in detoxification programs. Nothing worked.

On one occasion, Terry collapsed into a pool of water; on another, she suffered head injuries from a fall on the sidewalk. At other times, she passed out on a bus, on a park bench and in a store.

One day, on the completion of one of the recovery programs, Terry asked if she could borrow McGovern’s car for a few minutes to pick up a prescription at a nearby drugstore.

“Three hours later I was called by a concerned bartender who informed me that Terry had collapsed from heavy drinking,” McGovern writes.

The last time the couple saw their daughter was at a family vacation in North Carolina’s Outer Banks in June 1994. The McGoverns had very little contact with her after the vacation. A counselor had suggested that would give Terry enough space to recover.

McGovern said he regrets that decision.

“I wish I had been calling her every few days, writing regularly, showing my love and affection for her,” he said. “I regretted every hour I did not have with her during those final months.”

McGovern said the death of his daughter, whom he nicknamed “the Bear,” affected him in both emotional and intellectual ways.

“It brought home how much I loved her and brought me closer to my other children and wife,” said McGovern. “I’ve also come to a firm conclusion that alcoholism is a disease, like cancer, and we have to have that attitude towards it.”