State of the Union : Romantic scenery, and streamlined regulations make weddings a big business in the islands

My presence brings a charm to wedding parties.

All four marriages in which I’ve stood at the altar with the bridal party are still afloat. The four in which I issued polite declinations? Sunk.

I fretted about that as my then-fiance and I considered a trip from Alaska, our home in 1984, to his hometown in Hawaii for our wedding. Would the charm work across the Pacific, or was it like a “Star Trek” badge, out of commission beyond communications range?

What I didn’t take into account was that Hawaii would provide a blessing of its own. Double rainbows arched our path as we drove through the Koolau Range to the Windward Coast of Oahu, where my husband’s family was preparing for the ceremony. The wind was infused with the scent of plumeria, a smell that crosses a lemon blossom with lilac, but the lilac wins.

It was among life’s most glorious moments, though we didn’t know we were just part of a growing trend of couples who roll wedding, honeymoon and Hawaiian vacation into one.

Nearly 9,000 visitors chose Hawaii in 1994 as the place to legalize their unions. That’s almost equal the number of Hawaii residents who marry in a year. More than two-thirds of the visitor brides and grooms came from the mainland or Europe; most of the remainder were from Japan.

When Steve and I married, regulations were strict: We had to bring our original birth certificates, or authenticated copies, to the Department of Health office in Honolulu, had to have a blood test, had to pay a fee and then suffer through at least a day’s waiting, all for the honor of marrying in Hawaii.

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Today, it’s more streamlined: Show up with a completed application (you can call ahead for one), pay your $25 fee and you’re ready for the minister in 45 minutes, tops.

Even Bill Gates, when he married on Lanai, had to plunk down cash for the notary public who served as marriage licensee when he married Microsoft employee Melinda French in 1994.

Gates’ wedding helped shine a spotlight on what is becoming big business in Hawaii’s tourism-based economy. Open Oahu’s Yellow Pages to “Wedding Chapels & Ceremonies, Consultants and Arrangements” and you’ll find page after page of ads and scores of listings--and that’s before you even get to the B’s. Resort planners wouldn’t think of breaking ground without a wedding chapel on site, and even wedding planners who do mostly local business, these days have 800 numbers.

Billionaire Gates wasn’t the only notable who found Happily Ever After in the tropics. Local woman Tia Carrera (of “Wayne’s World” fame) rented an exclusive beach-side estate on Oahu for her wedding and reception. Megabuck-earning screenwriter Joe Eszterhas picked Maui as the site of his 1994 wedding to artist Baka.

Two big names opting to go Polynesian when renewing their vows: Dustin Hoffman and his wife of 15 years, Lisa, who did it Tahitian-style, complete with body paint and native finery; and David Hasselhoff, who was shooting a special “Baywatch” episode in Hawaii at Waimea Falls Park in 1994 and was struck by the spirituality of the place. Before the Hasselhoffs celebrated their fifth anniversary at the park, complete with crowning rainbow, no one had married or remarried at the park before. Now the park offers a “David Hasselhoff wedding package.”

(Hawaiian honeymoons are even more popular than weddings. In 1995, 568,970 chose to honeymoon here, including the artist formerly known as Prince and Mayte, who married in Minneapolis last February.) People who choose Hawaii for a wedding tend to be young professionals, say people in the wedding industry here. They dream of a beach wedding at sunset, or the mist of a waterfall adding to everyone’s dewy-eyed look. And long white gown and control top pantyhose aside, beaches are extremely popular places to exchange rings.

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For Melani Shoop, 26, of Denver, it wasn’t a childhood dream that drove her into a cool, halter wedding sheath--appropriate for the weather in lush Haiku Gardens in Kaneohe, on the windward side of Oahu--but the chance to stave off wedding negotiations between families and friends that made the Israeli peace accord look simple.

“I didn’t want to deal with it,” said the first-time bride, getting ready to walk down the flower-festooned pathway to meet Robert G. Grodt, also 26. “I wanted something luxurious and glamorous and romantic . . . and (sigh) Hawaii.”

Instead, she hired Susan O’Donnell of Aloha Wedding Planners to handle the arrangements. Even though the couple planned to get away from it all, when they moved their December wedding up to May, they ended up bringing their wedding party with them: 30 family members and friends.

Wedding consultants who almost exclusively deal with the tourist market here say greenery is another must, be it Royal Hawaiian palm trees swaying by a bay or stalks of torch ginger and heliconia in a private garden. “What they don’t want is a church wedding,” said wedding consultant Carrie Tandal of Honolulu-based Dreams Unlimited. “They could do that at home.”

The most popular place for tourist weddings is Diamond Head Park, where on a given day you’ll find white-gowned brides and tuxedoed grooms queuing up to get their wedding portrait taken in front of Waikiki’s iconic landmark.

Several Oahu churches see one-after-another business too: the oceanside Calvary By the Sea, the historic Kawaiahao Church near Iolani Palace and the tropical Salvation Army’s Waioli Chapel.

“Rev. Howie”--he also answers to “Capt. Howie”--Welfeld customizes weddings for those looking for a real adventure. The nondenominational minister is easy to find in the Yellow Pages as proprietor of AAA Aloha Above Heaven’s Gate. Welfeld has officiated at underwater weddings (at sunken shipwrecks, living coral reefs and turtle canyons off Maunalua Bay) and sailed couples by Hobie craft to the twin Mokulua Islands off Oahu’s Lanikai Beach so they could hike up to the bathwater-warm splash pools for their ceremony.

Welfeld’s specialty is a “pirate” wedding aboard his 56-foot teakwood replica of The Mayflower, with witnesses including his parrots: Radha, Lalita and Kalki.

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While some members of the Oahu wedding industry find Rev. Howie’s style of weddings “too weird for words,” everyone seems to approve of elegant weddings performed at secluded beaches on neighbor isles, especially the Na Pali Coast in Kauai, Wailea in Maui and just about any black-sand beach on the Big Island. Part of the beauty of a beach wedding is beyond atmosphere: There’s no fee for standing on a Hawaiian beach, which is public, no matter which island you choose.

Another neighbor island spot--Kauai’s Fern Grotto, reached by ferry down the scenic Wailua River, where you can make your vows to the gentle strains of a ukulele strumming “The Hawaiian Wedding Song”--also sees a brisk tourist trade. What you won’t find right now at the Fern Grotto is an abundance of fern. Many were destroyed by hurricanes but, like most of the foliage of Kauai, they’re slowing creeping back.

On Oahu, upscale weddings such as Tia Carrera’s are fairly easy to accommodate, says wedding consultant Tandal, who arranges for exclusive oceanside estates in Portlock or Kahala (rental fees range from $2,000 to $5,000 a day), where every amenity can be had: catering by one of the Hawaii Regional Cuisine-affiliated restaurants, top-of-the-line videography and wedding portraits, the works. Tandal didn’t handle Carrera’s wedding, but her videographer did.

One tip Tandal has for visitors considering Hawaii weddings: Choose Monday through Friday for the big day, since you’re on vacation anyway. That way you don’t have to compete with the local crowd for the best photographers, videographers, caterers, etc.

She also recommends you use a wedding consultant at the specific island where you’re planning to marry rather than use a California consultant for Oahu, or an Oahu consultant for the Big Island. It’s more likely a consultant can give adequate attention to the fine details in person. The Hawaii Visitor’s Bureau offers a list of wedding consultants for each island. Resorts across the islands are also getting into wedding gigs: Several have standing chapels on the grounds, available to guests and non-guests for a fee.

A word of advice from Aloha Wedding Planners’ O’Donnell: If you’re planning an outdoor wedding, don’t have the crystal engraved just yet. You may need an alternative date if you want to be sure the wedding portrait is set against a blue sky, rather than a cloudy one.

O’Donnell works mainly with first-time visitors to Hawaii, and deals predominately with weddings attended by just the bride and groom. “They’re here to get away from the big family thing,” she said.

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She recalled one beach-side wedding at the Kahala Hilton in which the bride wore a white, one-piece swimsuit, bustle on the back, short train with tulle netting and veil. (Specialty swimwear catalogs sell wedding bikinis too.) Wedding attire for the bride can be full formal to traditional hula skirt with coconut-shell bra.

“If you want to go to that extreme, we don’t mind,” she said with a laugh. If you want to be historically correct, steer clear of anyone hawking a “Hawaiian wedding.” In kahiko (ancient) times, there may have been a ho’ao, or ceremonial marriage mating ritual for the alii (royalty), explained University of Hawaii Hawaiian instructor Puakea Nogelmeier. However, the purpose of the ho’ao was chiefly to verify marriages, especially alliances between royal families. Common people’s bonds were mostly longtime economic ties; they didn’t undergo a formal marriage ceremony.

Until the missionaries arrived in Hawaii, the concept of marriage wasn’t one of monogamous, lifelong commitment for Hawaiians. What was then considered marriage could often involve multiple mates, same-sex partners and other alliances you don’t find in Western tradition, Nogelmeier said.

For a growing segment of the Japanese population, marrying here is becoming the equivalent of a quickie Vegas wedding. The islands, which have long been among Japan’s favorite honeymoon destinations, last year took the No. 1 position. Not only does the favorable yen exchange rate and increased marketing play a role, so does Japanese custom.

Bridal Emporium’s Deanna Overbey, who is fluent in Japanese, explained that getting married in Hawaii is not only romantic, it costs just a few thousand dollars more than merely renting the bridal outfits--there are three or four clothing changes--for a traditional Japanese wedding.

She consulted the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Kazumi Maeoka of Hiroshima, who were in the store to arrange for their wedding the next day at the Hawaii Primarrie Church near Waikiki.

“Very expensive in Japan,” Overbey translated. “About $200,000 for 100 or fewer guests.”

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In Japan, not only do couples pay $10,000 and more for kimono rentals, buy flowers (as much as $600), feed their guests a lavish sit-down dinner and provide for entertainment, they’re also expected to buy gifts for all their wedding guests.

For about $15,000--as much as a 10th the price of a Japanese wedding--the Maeokas have rented a long, white traditional gown, they’ve paid for a private ceremony at the church, complete with photos and video, and spent the rest of their vacation with their four parents and two best friends.

When weddings don’t work out in Hawaii, it can be front-page news.

In March, Susan Scourtes and Jerry Gaddis had what the Honolulu headline writers called “The Wedding From Hell.” Everything went wrong for the Florida couple: The limousine that was supposed to take them to Pua Melia Plantation was filthy, they said. The driver got lost, at one point turning into a sewage treatment plant, where wild dogs chased after the limo.

Despite the date engraved in their Baccarat crystal goblets--March 21, 1996--and the $15,000 they’d already spent for their exotic tropical wedding and air fare, the couple called the whole thing off. Instead, they married the next day at Oahu’s exclusive Halekulani Hotel.

Perhaps they could have used my magical presence. Because for Steve and me, it’s 12 years and going strong.

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GUIDEBOOK: In a State of Bliss

Oahu wedding planners: Dreams Unlimited, 1465-2 S. King St., Honolulu, HI 96814. Specializes in customized weddings. $500 for basic package, up to $20,000 for an extravaganza. Telephone (808) 941-6164. AAA Aloha Above Heaven’s Gate, 41-1010 Laumilo St., Waimanalo Bay, HA 96795. Specializes in adventure weddings. Simple beach wedding from $125; underwater or sailing wedding from $500. Tel. (800) 800-2933. Aloha Wedding Planners, 1860 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 115, Honolulu, HI 96815. Wedding packages range from $325 to $3,000, which includes location, minister’s fee, on-site wedding coordinator, flowers. Tel. (800) 288-8309 or (808) 943-2711. Bridal Emporium, 250 Ward Ave., Suite 170, Honolulu, HI 96814. Offers all wedding accoutrements. Simple wedding around $1,000, including wedding dress, minister, site, hairdo, makeup, flowers, music. Specializes in Japanese weddings. Tel. (808) 596-8281.

Resort weddings: The Halekulani (Oahu), 2199 Kalia Road, Honolulu, HI 96815. Three-night ($1,429) and seven-night ($2,929) double-occupancy wedding packages. Concierge will arrange for minister; catering office handles gazebo rental and reception. Tel. (808) 923-2311 or (800) 772-1933. The Grand Wailea Resort (Maui), 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr., Wailea, HI 96753. $1,920 wedding package includes chapel use, gardens, minister, music, flowers, wedding certificate, memento, wedding cake and champagne at gazebo after the ceremony. 20% off room rates for wedding couples. Tel. (808) 875-1234.

Marriage licenses: Honolulu Marriage Bureau (808) 586-4544.

For more information: Hawaii Visitors Bureau, 2270 Kalakaua Ave, Suite 801, Honolulu, HI 96815, has list of wedding consultants on each island (consultants pay a fee to be listed). Tel. (808) 923-1811; Web site: https://www.visit.hawaii.org.

--M.K.R.