She’s hot:Don Page of Toluca Lake points...

She’s hot:

Don Page of Toluca Lake points out that actress Kathleen Turner was well qualified to host the recent A & E show “Pompeii: Buried Alive.” After all, she also starred in the movie “Body Heat.”

SIDE O’ FREEWAY SHOULDER: We know this is only Tuesday but we’re giving Traffic Obstacle of the Week honors to an on-ramp of the Antelope Valley Freeway. On Sunday it was partially blocked by a cow, eating grass. Almost enough to cause an outbreak of mad-motorist disease.

NOT TO MILK THIS ITEM, BUT . . . : We’re still receiving mail about San Pedro’s Beacon House rehab facility, which received an anonymous donation of Bag Balm, an ointment for cows with chapped udders.

Don Cleveland, a San Pedro electrician, writes: “When I was a kid on a farm in Wyoming, we had a snowstorm one spring and then it warmed when the sun came out and froze again overnight, creating an icy surface.

“We noticed the next day when the calves went to nurse, the cows would push them away. It turned out when the sun came up on that ice, it reflected up under the cows and sunburned the udders of every one of them. I tell you, we had to go to town and get about five gallons of that stuff.”

FROM COWS TO FAT CATS: “In 1973, when I first moved to Van Nuys, my local bank was World Savings,” writes Rick Rofman. “Over the years it evolved into Allstate Savings, Sears Savings Bank, Citicorp Savings and Citibank, FSB (Federal Savings Bank). So much for stability of name.”

Continuing his essay on the charms of hometown banking, Rofman adds: “As Citicorp Savings, my bank on Van Nuys Boulevard had a corporate headquarters in Oakland. Now, as Citibank . . . the telephone banking is out of San Antonio, Texas, and my canceled checks come from Brooklyn, N.Y.”

FOR THOSE WITH SHALLOW MINDS: Comic Marty Ingels snapped a picture that doesn’t really require a punch line. The guy who wrote out the warning around the pool took care of the humor. Ignore that warning and even Bag Balm won’t help you.

JULY 4, 1865--NO BEACH DAY: An extended June Gloom marred Independence Day in L.A. that year, according to the Wilmington (Calif.) Journal. We know because Leonard Bernstein of the downtown Caravan Book Store sent us a copy of that edition, which he recently acquired.

“On account of the unpleasant weather there was no procession,” the Journal reported. “The citizens, however, assembled to listen to the exercises, which consisted of religious services, reading of the Declaration of Independence and the Emancipation Proclamation by Rev. Elias Birdsall, and an oration by Hon. W. E. Lovett. The Declaration was also read in Spanish and an address was delivered in the same language.”

HOW DEEP IS THAT CANYON? Perusing the Oregon State Bar Bulletin, Mike Thurman of Long Beach saw an ad placed by a Southern California attorney who was seeking temporary housing in Portland. The ad said he was willing to rent, house-sit or swap his home in the Laurel Canyon area of “Low Angeles.”

BODY SLAMS FOR JESUS: A notice on a Cal State Long Beach bulletin board read, “Need Christian Drummer for Punk Band.” The second line said: “Hardcore.”

miscelLAny

This is our first opportunity to say it, so excuse us for being a day late: Happy Fiscal New Year to everyone in Low Angeles.