Listen First, Then Ask

Larry, an architect, has been asked to build a school for a particular Native American tribe. He decides to meet with key members to ascertain their ritual and aesthetic requirements. A small group convenes and Larry asks them questions. In the middle of the meeting, one of the elders, a woman, walks out. Larry senses that he has offended her, but doesn’t know why.

What went wrong?

Later, the woman’s daughter explained, saying, “You ask too many questions.” Larry learned that to be more effective he should have told the elders why he was there and then asked for their wisdom. In turn, they would have told him stories containing the answers he needed.

Subsequently, Larry discovered that his task was not just to design structures, but to reconstruct aspects of tradition and incorporate them into the buildings. For example, he had to arrange the traffic flow so that people could move in a clockwise course because this tribe believes that spirits descend from the heavens in a clockwise direction. He also had to pay design attention to the cardinal points: north, south, east, west.

People frequently pride themselves on being direct in their communication, getting to the point and asking specific questions. However, as Larry found out, this style of communication is not universal.