Switching horses in mid-ocean?An Associated Press story...

Switching horses in mid-ocean?

An Associated Press story out of Saipan in the Mariana Islands says that lawyer Johnnie L. Cochran Jr. “has joined a team of lawyers representing the alleged illegitimate son of one of the world’s most successful tycoons.”

And we bet we know just how Cochran will attempt to prove the young man’s claim: DNA evidence.

OK, OK, WE GET THE POINT! In our Dept. of Redundancy Dept., Ed Schlossman of Thousand Oaks found a fire hose that’s used pretty much for what you’d expect while Gerald P. Jones of L.A. came upon a building that gives every sign of being a thrift shop (see photos).

BRAD’S LAST STAND: One display at an exhibition on Gen. George Custer mentions that actor Brad Pitt is in line to star in still another movie about old Yellow Hair.

A notebook is set out so that visitors to the Autry Museum of Western Heritage can record their opinion of such an enterprise. A few of the comments:

An apparently hungry visitor: “I don’t think Brad will make a good Custard.”

A female fan of the actor: “I don’t think they can be objective but as long as Brad Pitt’s in it, who cares?”

A grump who didn’t like the writing implement attached to the notebook: “New pens.”

And, finally, one visitor who had other matters on his mind: “Perot should not run again.”

By the way, isn’t that last sentence redundant?

YOU BETCHA, PARDNER: We guess it’s only appropriate that the automated teller machine at the Autry museum would carry a Wells Fargo brand.

COIN OF WHICH REALM? Francisco Ruso was sorting through some change in his cupped hand to pay a bill at a fast-food shop in Burbank when the cashier asked him, “What country is that coin from?” She pointed to a gold coin.

Ruso adds that “being the world traveler that I am, I was able to reply, ‘That’s an MTA token.’ ”

“Oh,” the cashier said. “I’ve never seen one before.”

Yes, here in the world-car capital, a token for a bus or trolley probably would qualify as foreign currency.

UNDERSTANDABLE ERROR: We heard a radio newscaster refer to the “communications murder, uh, merger” of Turner Broadcasting and Time-Warner.

THAT SPECIAL PERSON (CONT.): Phil Mann read our list of patients’ descriptions of people to be notified in case of an emergency, as enunciated in one HMO database.

You’ll recall the list included such intimates as “agent,” “AA sponsor” and “ex-grandmother.”

Mann commented: “Whenever I am asked whom to contact in case of emergency, I respond: ‘A doctor.’ ”

Red Schwartz of L.A., meanwhile, said that in response to the same question: “I wrote, ‘nearest person’ on the card in my wallet.”

We checked the card in our own wallet. It says: “Perot should not run again.”

miscelLAny:

Burrito Express of Pasadena will air-ship a six-pack of frozen burritos to Manhattan for $44.50. The company guarantees next-day delivery. But, sad to say, it doesn’t offer a frequent-flour discount.