He’s the 32nd flavor:Not only did the...

He’s the 32nd flavor:

Not only did the Commission on Presidential Debates recommend against including Ross Perot, but the fiery challenger has been denied a spot in Baskin-Robbins’ presidential ice cream poll.

Instead, customers of the Glendale-based chain will have to cast their ballots for either Clinton’s Sax-y Candydate or Dole’s G.O.P.eanut Butter, two unwieldy varieties that were selected in a computer survey.

It’s a shame that Baskin-Robbins snubbed Perot since there are so many flavors that would fit him. Fudge Statistics comes to mind. Or, how about Owns the Mint, Nut ‘n’ Money, or Talkalot Chip?

And it’s too bad that Baskin-Robbins opted for such colorless flavors for the two major candidates. Rejected Clinton varieties, for example, included: Whitewater Swirl, So Good I Inhaled It! and I Feel Your Plain ‘Nilla.

Judging from Dole’s position in the polls, Baskin-Robbins also overlooked the obvious flavor for him: Rocky Road.

*

A SERIAL PRESIDENT? Over the last four years, Clinton’s image has certainly improved in Republican eyes, judging from the Hollywood symbols used to describe him.

During the 1992 campaign, incumbent President Bush compared his rival to Freddy Krueger, the serial killer of the movies, saying Clinton was “more interested in scaring people than in dealing with the country’s real problems.”

This time around, Dole at least placed the Democrat on the right side of the law. He said Clinton “talks like Dirty Harry but acts like Barney Fife.”

Incidentally, Dole’s charge drew a protest from comic Jay Leno. “Barney was always faithful to Thelma Lou,” Leno pointed out.

*

DOUBLE-BARRELED THREAT: Terence O’Brien of West L.A. found an unusual no-trespassing sign posted by a Silver Lake resident (see photo). It looks like she took extra pains to get her point across.

*

NO DISCRIMINATION HERE: The Creightons, Charles and Frances, received a flier from a pizza company and say they were relieved to see the latter “cares nothing about our religion.” (see excerpt)

*

L.A. LAVA: There are still a few prominent local buildings that have avoided cinematic disasters but the numbers are dwindling. In “Volcano,” an upcoming movie about an eruption in the La Brea Tar pits, it’s going to be a hot time on the old town for the Beverly Center mall, Petersen’s Auto Museum and other businesses on Wilshire Boulevard, not to mention Metro Rail’s Red Line. Make that the Red Hot Line.

Most of the actual filming was done elsewhere. Wilshire Boulevard’s stand-in was a giant parking lot at a McDonnell Douglas plant in versatile Torrance, the city that portrayed Beverly Hills in parts of TV’s “Beverly Hills 90210.”

Another casualty of the volcano, by the way, is a billboard of Angelyne, whose head falls into the street. You may recall that some months ago Only in L.A. reported a real-life incident in which the wind broke off the Billboard Queen’s noggin in Hollywood. We hope the director of “Volcano” remembers to thank us on Oscar night.

miscelLAny:

USC, which was founded by Methodists, recently named Rabbi Susan Laemmle as the school’s first dean of religious life. She is a descendant of the pioneer motion picture family of the same name, prompting Tom Bratter of West L.A. to observe: “You’d expect Rabbi Laemmle to have a ‘Universal’ perspective.”