Conroy Picks a Bad Time to Show Voters His Flip Side

Mickey Conroy joins a long and illustrious list of Americans who, when the mood struck, responded by “giving the bird” (tee-hee) to the target of his displeasure. Heck, he probably learned it in that most American of institutions, the Marine Corps.

As such, the act should not automatically be construed as that of a cretin. The single, extended middle finger, while off-putting to some, is a time-honored communication form, much like letter-writing, that, if performed with aplomb by someone who really knows how to do it, can be as eloquent as the finest speech.

Mind you, I refer only to the single-finger form of expression. Alas, the so-called “two-fingered bird,” which is what Conroy apparently delivered to a political opponent in their pending supervisorial race, propels him into the obscene-gesturers pantheon, reserved solely for people truly ill-suited for polite society.

‘Tis a pity, because based largely on Conroy’s own previous assessments of himself, we had held him in the highest esteem. He is, after all, the assemblyman from Orange who wanted to keep us safe from Tom Hayden by having him kicked out of the state Senate. He is the man who wanted to paddle graffiti vandals. He is the man who wanted to return corporal punishment to the schools. He wants us to return to a time when people had old-fashioned values.

Now comes the news that Conroy recently approached fellow Republican Todd Spitzer, a deputy district attorney who is opposing Conroy for the 3rd District seat, and verbally berated him before punctuating his sentence with the two-fingered exclamation point.

Had Conroy approached Spitzer in a back alley or in the restroom between World Wrestling Federation matches, such an act might not seem out of place. But, refusing to bow to social niceties, Conroy unleashed his irritation at a Republican Party gathering, much to the astonishment of more civilized onlookers.

For some reason, I’m suddenly trying to picture Conroy sitting around the supervisors’ table with the genteel Marian Bergeson and William Steiner.

I digress. Never mind.

Anyway, the same Mickey Conroy who seeks legislative remedies for other people’s aberrant behavior hasn’t apologized. Indeed, he says Spitzer had it coming because he keeps bringing up a sexual-harassment suit pending against Conroy, filed by a former employee.

Conroy is presumed innocent on that one, but in a political campaign Spitzer would be rather remiss if he didn’t mention it. Naturally, that irks Conroy, who says references to it are upsetting his wife. But if Conroy gets the legitimate benefit of the doubt on the pending suit, it must be noted that the Assembly Rules Committee in 1994 determined that Conroy violated the house’s sexual harassment policy.

Spitzer, so shocked at Conroy’s public outburst in front of party regulars that he couldn’t contain his glee, promptly filed an ethics complaint and made a public issue of it.

The complaint was dismissed, but the resultant publicity is the worst punishment of all for Conroy, whose name recognition alone made him the front-runner and not really in need of any bad press.

Under the assumption that giving your opponent the bird in mixed company won’t win you additional votes, Conroy’s outburst can only hurt him. Who knows how much, but a few more well-timed Spitzer remarks and Conroy may slug him right in the mouth.

That could turn the race around, if Spitzer is willing to risk it.

Sounds like Conroy’s defense is going to be chivalry. If I were Spitzer, I might counter with the “unbridled anger” approach and ask whether Conroy’s action is suggestive of a man given to rational deliberation. Then, the question would be whether voters put a premium on rational deliberation on the Board of Supervisors.

While Conroy has refused to back down, one of his advisors gets the picture. As it became known that reporters would write about the incident, political consultant Mark Thompson tried to deflate the matter with a tongue-in-cheek press release in which he noted that Conroy had sprained his index finger.

The sprain, Thompson deadpanned, “has created an occasional problem when attempting to flash his Nixonesque ‘V for Victory’ sign. His index finger is slower than his other fingers to react to the ‘V’ sign, causing an occasional embarrassing misinterpretation of his actual meaning.”

That’s probably as good a spin as can be put on it.

Here’s where things seem to stand:

At worst, Conroy is a bird-flipping hothead.

At best, he’s just a misunderstood guy sticking up for his wife.

Third District voters, have at it.

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or calling (714) 966-7821.