Children Need Love Not Limits

Times staff writer Lynn Smith writes about author Michael Donaldson who says parents should negotiate limits and goals with their children (“Make Sure You Close the Deal--Even With Kids,” Sept. 22).

I couldn’t disagree more. Since when are parents qualified to determine what the limits should be for any given child? How many parents have a list of limits for their own behavior? It should be obvious by now that many parents who attempt to set limits and goals for their children have failed miserably. And I’m afraid that for those who think it has worked for them, it really hasn’t. It only stifles kids.

What all children really need is unconditional love and trust. There should be no absolute demands upon any child at any time. If parents would only provide an atmosphere of security and stability in the home, along with unconditional love and trust, there would be no need for curfews or rules. Like the Donaldsons, my wife and I also have three grown sons. And they are living proof that leaving them to be themselves works.

BENNY WASSERMAN

La Palma