Brothers’ Java Joke Book a Real Eye-Opener

You ski uphill. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house. You’d be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.

According to a new book by two North Hollywood brothers, these are all symptoms of chronic coffee dependence. Aviv and David Ilan have cashed in on the nationwide java boom with “You Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When . . .”

Set in brown type, each of the book’s 133 pages offers a one-liner, many about the age-old appeal of the caffeine high.

“We saw something that was very popular and that people could relate to,” said Aviv, 26. “Denny’s used to have just the regular cup of coffee. Now you can get cappuccino there.”

The brothers are both graduates of Cal State Northridge--Aviv in 1994 with journalism and English majors and David in graphic design in ’95. After hatching the idea for the book, they spent a week in the North Hollywood home they share with their parents assembling the bulk of the jokes and writing letters to agents.

Adams Media made the first--and highest--offer, a “preemptive strike to avoid a bidding war,” Aviv said, quite seriously. The Ilans hope to use their published status to get several more titles in print. They are finishing a suspense novel, another joke book and a day-in-the-life project using submissions from the Internet.

For now, both work steady jobs. David helps design CSUN’s student newspaper and Aviv does marketing for the Stanley H. Kaplan Educational Center, best known for helping teenagers with standardized tests.

“Even if, God forbid, these other things don’t go anywhere, then at least we can say we have a book,” said David, 23. “I mean, Aviv and I are just sitting in our room cracking jokes and thousands of people are reading it.”

Thousands of people also might have the wrong impression. “The book is not autobiographical,” Aviv stressed.

“We do enjoy a good cup of coffee,” David started, and his brother finished: “but we know when to say when.”