Team Should Be on the Move

Your . . . UN! . . . beaten! . . . Los Angeles Clippers took the floor Saturday night at the Sports Arena, but it was too good to be true. They lost, 95-90, to Utah, with Karl Malone of the Jazz appearing in his 900th NBA game and Coach Bill Fitch of the Clippers appearing in his 996th defeat.

The old barn looked OK, with two new video scoreboards, but naturally the same question remains--”Why doesn’t somebody make the Clippers move to Anaheim?”--which is virtually the way WFAN all-sports radio in New York put it last week to NBA Commissioner David Stern.

Stern’s reply was, “You must be tapping my phone.”

Now that the Lakers want to move downtown to a new, state-of-the-Shaq arena on the same street, the Clippers must decide how much longer they wish to play in the oldest crib in the NBA. So, the end could be near for the old Figueroa fixer-upper.

Somebody told me that the difference now between the Lakers and Clippers can be seen clearly in the way each went out and acquired a center from Louisiana State University, one getting Shaquille O’Neal, the other getting Stanley Roberts. This is nothing personal against Mr. Roberts. It is simply a measure of the way the Lakers and Clippers do business.

As usual, the story with the Clippers revolves around someone who isn’t here. This time it is Brian Williams, who evidently believes he is entitled to be one of the richest centers in all of basketball, even though the only way Williams will ever see an NBA All-Star game is if he has a really nice TV.

Williams is a no-show so far. He averaged more points last season than all but two Western Conference centers--David Robinson and Hakeem Olajuwon--and proceeded to sail away to the Caribbean, leaving word with the Clippers that he may not be Shaq, but he’s at least half a Shaq.

Brian Williams, who couldn’t sell an extra ticket to an NBA game if he promised to pass out $100 bills at halftime, is holding up the entire Clipper organization for three things: more, more and more. Without him, the Clippers must make do with Roberts and Kevin Duckworth, who between them weigh about 600 pounds and scored about as many points last season as my grandmother did.

I don’t blame Elgin Baylor, Andy Roeser and the rest of the Clipper brass a bit for not capitulating to Williams’ whims. The Clippers lost with him and they can lose without him.

The Clippers are like the Marines. They are looking for a few good men. Their only problem is, they have been looking for them for around 20 years.

Their 1-0 start, thanks to Friday night’s victory over a Golden State Warrior team that is stripping its parts like a chop shop, gave the Clippers a good feeling going into Saturday’s home opener. They held a laser show, dimmed the lights, then turned a spotlight on the 1996-97 Clippers who bothered to show up, unlike Williams.

They sang their praises, the public-address announcer hailing such additions as the “lightning-quick” Darrick Martin, formerly of UCLA. Most of the lightning-quick Clippers over the years were the ones running toward the door, but what the heck.

Also part of this year’s squad are Malik Sealy and Dwayne Schintzius, coming off their Academy Award not-nominated performances in the Whoopi Goldberg film “Eddie,” as well as Eric Piatkowski, who took the ball to the hoop against Utah with a force and slammed home a dunk worthy of his teammate, Brent “Air” Barry.

Otherwise, they are pretty much the same old Clippers. Lamond Murray and Lorenzen Wright sit on the bench, even though each of them was chosen among the top 10 players of their respective NBA drafts, by the one team in basketball you would think could use immediate help. Loy Vaught and Rodney Rogers still start at forward, and all I can say to each of them is, please, stay healthy.

The most encouraging thing about the Clippers is that they hustle (particularly Charles Outlaw) and try hard, particularly on defense. They seem like a decent bunch of guys and they won’t go 0-16, the way the 1994-95 Clippers did, so that’s something.

I believe the Clippers are worth watching, so come on out. Their next home game is against the New York Knicks, who haven’t won many championships either. Patrick Ewing and the Clippers have something in common.