Satirical Serenade

Strains of bluegrass banjo mingled with the pounding of hurried footsteps on the marble floors of the Gateway Portal, the rotunda-like heart of Union Station.

It was 7:30 a.m. on election day and the hordes of bleary-eyed commuters were about to be dealt a musical reminder to vote.

Roy Zimmerman, leader of the Los Angeles-based singing quartet the Foremen, which specializes in political satire, peered around the Metrolink corridor for the next wave of people and launched into an upbeat ditty:

Come on everybody

Tuck in your second chin

Come on and do the Clinton. . . .

A few briefcase-toting commuters slowed down, occasionally giving up a slight smile. But most trudged on with that pre-morning-coffee scowl or rolled their eyes disdainfully at the four musicians playing on a temporary stage.

Zimmerman (undecided as of 8 a.m., but leaning toward the Green Party’s Ralph Nader) continued “Do the Clinton”:

. . . Step over to the middle

To the left a little

And a lot to the right

Do the diplomatic sidestep

The administrative shuffle. . . .

Have another waffle.

Backing up Zimmerman with jaunty harmonies were his cohorts Andy Corwin, Doug Whitney and Kenny Rhodes, the latter of whom periodically dons a pair of sunglasses and plays a saxophone-shaped kazoo.

For slightly more than an hour Tuesday morning, the Foremen delivered tuneful political jabs for thousands of train commuters. Metrolink administrator Peter Hidalgo (who voted for Bob Dole right when the polls opened) said the band was the first to ever play officially at Union Station.

The idea, he said, was to give the station’s commuters--whom he proudly described as an “upscale, well-educated audience”--a topical change of pace.

The band members, in matching gray suits and skinny purple satin ties, planned to hit UCLA and California Plaza later in the day to complete their Election Day whistle-stop tour. The only problem, Zimmerman said, would be finding time to vote.

As the morning concert continued, Joel Aguilera (who said he would vote for Bill Clinton), an employee at the Union Bagel and Coffee Stand across from the stage, fielded a few queries from curious customers.

Aguilera had never worked to background music before; any street musicians that had ventured into the station trying to perform for spare change were always promptly escorted out.

As the morning wore on, there were fewer people with briefcases and more wearing backpacks and carrying suitcases and shopping bags. Less groggy, less hurried, they lingered to listen, chuckling and flashing thumbs-up signs.

Hacienda Heights resident Mark Burgez (who cast an absentee ballot for Clinton) took off his Walkman and leaned against a wall. He applauded and guffawed when a lyric struck a chord during the the half hour he had to wait to catch the next train to Van Nuys.

Equal opportunity satirists, the Foremen launched into “Bob Dole (Soul of Rock ‘n’ Roll),” a ‘60s soul-inspired melody that mocked the candidate’s lack of Gen-X appeal by portraying him as a fan of alternative rock and Courtney Love:

He’s into Weezer and way into Hole

He’s the soul of rock ‘n’ roll--Bob Dole.

MTA employee Anderson Bennett (a Ross Perot-ite, but would vote for Dole), commuting in from Orange County, stopped in his tracks and turned toward the band. “This is great,” he said.

One of the last passersby that caught the Foremen before they moved on was Oklahoma City resident Norma Goff (who cast an absentee ballot for Clinton), who had just gotten her first glimpse of L.A. in the station. Wearing a red, white and blue sweatsuit, she let go of her luggage cart and did a dance, ignoring the stares.

“I’m trying to ‘Do the Clinton,’ ” she laughed.