If you can’t lick ‘em. . ....

If you can’t lick ‘em. . . .

While USC’s sports season can’t compare to UCLA’s in terms of controversy, the Trojans continue to have unusual off-the-field incidents.

We mentioned the yell leader who drew a one-game suspension after cautioning rooters: “We like our women fast--not our cheers.”

Now comes news of a homecoming rally that was raided by campus police. During a performance by the rap group Digital Underground, “three women clad in nothing but G-strings and bras jumped up to the stage,” the Daily Trojan reported. One bared her chest and sprayed it with whipped cream, which attracted the attention of a male performer. And, well, you get the general idea. . . .

Anyway, we applaud the shutdown by the security officers. That type of spectacle should be confined to its more traditional locale--the fraternity house.

WHY COULDN’T IT HAVE BEEN THE TOP 100? Newsweek magazine just came out with a top 25 list of U.S. mayors, and neither of L.A.’s made the cut.

That’s right--there was nary a mention of L.A. city Mayor Richard Riordan or L.A. County Mayor Mike Antonovich.

But who cares about this poll? After all, Riordan ranked No. 4 in another competition--the mayoral joke-telling category at the Comic Relief concert at the Universal Ampitheatre.

And, as for Antonovich, he only became county mayor two weeks ago. That’s when the Board of Supervisors voted to give that revolving title to the board chairman because it had a more dynamic ring.

The sad thing is that Antonovich’s term as boss doesn’t end until Dec. 2. We’re certain Mayor Mike would have made Newsweek’s list if only the magazine had waited a few more weeks to see what he could do.

HELP! Yes, civic-minded readers, the county needs your assistance. Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky, who takes the chairman’s position from Antonovich next month, has instructed the county’s executive and protocol offices that he won’t use the term “mayor.”

So we’re asking readers to send us suggestions for a new title for the board chairman--either by e-mail (steve.harvey@latimes.com) or by snail mail (Only in L.A., L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053).

You won’t go unrewarded. We’ve brought out several matchless gifts from our Cave of Wonders. The winner will receive an autographed photo of Wayne Newton. The last-place finisher will receive a Wayne Newton T-shirt.

The only drawback is that we will have to disallow any entries that suggest changing the title from “mayor” to “newton.”

miscelLAny

Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills found a kick boxing class in North Hollywood where students evidently have to wear protective padding on their backsides. Proctor’s photo made us think of an inviting outdoor target in downtown L.A.--Terry Allen’s sculpture at Citicorp Plaza.