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It’s the Brooks Brothers Blazer of the Road

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TIMES STAFF WRITER

I drove here (actually, to Roslyn, Wash.) to sniff its northern exposure and wonder about making a house call on Dr. Joel. But he and Sue Anne, Maurice and Maggie, Chris and Marilyn, are long gone. Cast pictures on a cafe wall are their only echoes.

So, turn the car around, hum another soundtrack, and head west to Twin Peaks and the Great Northern Hotel (actually, to Snoqualmie Falls, Wash., and nearby Salish Lodge). Where there isn’t a tombstone for Laura Palmer, the cherry pie is average, and Agent Cooper’s great coffee is just another cup of Seattle-roasted Starbucks.

But a day of broad, dry interstates and slushy, chains-on-your-sneakers routes crossing the forested Cascades brought solid satisfaction from dares shared with a new European celebrity: Audi’s 1997 A8 4.2.

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Earlier, during a sleepless--must be all that coffee--media briefing in Seattle, Audi of America troweled a pastiche of wonky metaphors on its large, lovely and very serious luxury sedan. Would you believe, “This car is a linebacker with its helmet on, chin strap fastened and coming in with a significant play”? Or proof Audi has advanced “from playing chopsticks to Chopin . . . [and] will howl with the wolves out there.”

The A8 deserves less purple descriptions.

For a start, it is so precisely engineered, so reliant by posture and performance that even Lexus and Infiniti dwindle to lesser comparisons.

Part of that has to do with price. The Lexus LS400 costs $53,400; the imperial Infiniti $48,000, while the awesome Audi A8 4.2 (there’s a 3.7-liter version that is less expensive, lighter and nimbler) goes for an almighty $64,500.

Hold that gulp. Audi considers the A8’s big competition to be the Mercedes-Benz S420 panzerwagen, which costs $12,000 more. Also the Jaguar XJ-6 Vanden Plas and the BMW 740i, both hundreds higher than the A8 but, at these levels, not enough to be a deal-breaker for Daddy and Mommy Megabucks.

Pushing Lexus and Infiniti further toward their own goal line is the A8’s construction, which is aerospace, advanced enough to be protected by 40 patents and reaches far into the next millennium. While other car builders are caught in a spiral of more horsepower to propel heavier cars, Audi has turned to an aluminum space frame and outer panels that are 40% lighter and stiffer than steel.

Put it this way: The body shell of Audi’s full-size sedan weighs about the same as that of a Honda Civic.

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And using all this kettle metal has a stunning effect on the ride, also the performance from a relatively ordinary V-8 that in lighter clothing becomes a 300-horsepower gorilla.

Pace is ferocious, particularly in passing, where silence doesn’t burble above a deep swoosh. And there are rumors of a V-12 that should really shove it to BMW, Mercedes and Jaguar, at least on European autobahns and motor ways.

Despite the lack of lard (and the A8 is 750 pounds lighter than the Mercedes S420), the firm foundation and flex resistance provided by aluminum keeps the car bolted to the road. Add the miracle of all-wheel-drive Quattro, anti-lock brakes and traction control, and you have a sedan that even when overcooked on wet leaves covering black ice on a mountain curve has forgotten how to lose either end or go sideways.

And just in case you forget the magic alloy that’s largely responsible for all this poise in handling, there’s a thick plate of richly polished aluminum surrounding the gearshift.

Yet pace is critical only to Winston Cup pole-sitters. In the luxury car business, driver and passenger protection and comfort must be ordained.

Score more for the A8. It has half a dozen air bags, an industry first. Face and seat-mounted side pillows for driver and front passenger and side bags for folks in the back.

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For dumbed-down drivers, the front bag deploys faster if a sensor says the seat belt isn’t fastened. The other bag pops only if the passenger seat is occupied by a person or package weighing more than 26.4 pounds. For 10-pound pumpkins and 24-pound poodles, it would be wise to use seat belts.

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As far as ease and relaxation is concerned, the interior of the Audi is first class on Lufthansa. Instruments, in fact, are backlighted to a soft red glow like the night dials on a 747. Wood is French-polished walnut and the envy of anyone in the cigar humidor business. Leather is Nappa with open pores that squish and hiss as you wriggle to make yourself comfy.

No elegance is left unserved. There are 14-way power seats with four memories, and mesh shades for the rear windows to prevent sun-dried families. An eight-speaker Bose sound system brings the Hollywood Bowl to the Hollywood Freeway.

And there are those quite unnecessary, but thoroughly self-indulgent subtleties of dual climate controls; heated steering wheel; a solar-powered sunroof that activates cooling fans when the car is parked and temperatures climb; and laminated windows blocking 99% of UV radiation, which is better protection than a pair of Ray-Bans dipped in Coppertone.

Those whose high school metal shop skills extend beyond hand-hammering misshapen copper ashtrays know that aluminum--although lighter, stronger and as recyclable as steel--can’t be straightened, welded and repaired as easily.

Audi has that problem covered. In the event of a mighty crunch away from its network of specialist shops, Audi will deliver a loaner as it flatbeds your mangled pet to an aluminum frame and body hospital.

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Pity is, Audi hasn’t applied such thought and thoroughness to the lines and styling of the car. The A8 plays heavily into a family resemblance that is conservative, appropriate and stylish for all events and social levels. Rather like a Brooks Brothers blazer.

But $64,500 is a lot to pay for Cream of Wheat wheels with a shape that looks uncomfortably close to being an XL-size A4.

On the other hand, any car with such thorough breeding, peerless mechanicals and road manners--plus the perverse edge of being very expensive without being a BMW or a Mercedes--is certain to be desirable.

Audi has a hit with the mid-size A4, currently 65% of its model mix. Overall, prices have been lowered and equipment packages improved. Add popularity of the A6 wagons and sedans, presume acceptance for the incoming, turbocharged A4 1.8T, and it’s easy to see why Audi is headed for its best sales year in almost a decade.

Quite a comeback for an offbeat brand almost deported to Germany by a media-driven crusade over an unintended acceleration problem that never was. Of one small company’s stubborn fight to prove itself against a suspicious government and a dubious population. Of little cars that could.

Hey, somebody ought to make a television series.

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1997 Audi A8 4.2

The Good: Aluminum space frame and body panels reduce weight, increase aerodynamic efficiency and performance of full-size luxury car. First to offer six air bags. Goes through ice and slush like an all-wheel-drive sled dog. Will give Mercedes and BMW a run for their deutsche marks.

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The Bad: Too much family resemblance in conservative styling.

The Ugly: Priced for CEOs and MVPs.

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1997 Audi A8 4.2

Cost

* Base, and as tested: $64,500. (Includes destination charge; six air bags; automatic transmission; Quattro all-wheel-drive with traction controls; anti-lock brakes; Bose sound system; leather seats; automatic climate control; anti-theft system; power windows, doors and mirrors; 16-inch alloy wheels; and very much etcetera.)

Engine

* 4.2-liter, 32-valve, DOHC V-8 developing 300 horsepower.

Type

* Front-engine, all-wheel-drive, five-passenger, full-size luxury sedan.

Performance

* 0-60 mph, as tested, with five-speed automatic: 7 seconds.

* Top speed, electronically controlled: 130 mph.

* Fuel consumption, EPA city and highway estimates, 17 and 25 mpg.

Curb Weight

* 3,902 pounds.

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