Beautiful sights, bar none:The gaily decorated yachts...

Beautiful sights, bar none:

The gaily decorated yachts and vessels in the two-day L.A. Harbor Christmas Boat Parade will wend their way past one very large residential community with a million-dollar waterfront view: the Terminal Island Federal Penitentiary.

It’s only fitting that one of the judges of the Dec. 14-15 parade will be penitentiary Warden Michael Benov, who naturally also will be keeping an eye on the inmates.

TIPTOE OF FAME: Real estate agents Tom Dawson and Audrey Ann Boyle noticed that the Topanga Fish Market Restaurant posted an offbeat memorial to the late Tiny Tim (see photo). With Tiny Tim, it would have to be offbeat.

SOMEONE TO OVERSEE OVER ME: Cathy Hawthorne, a teacher in the Glendale school district, couldn’t help but spot a boo-boo in a Northern California newspaper (see excerpt).

MORE PROOF IT’S A JUNGLE OUT HERE: After we pointed out that the City of Angels is the world headquarters of Orangutan Foundation International, we heard from Susan Tellem, who noted that the American Tortoise Rescue, a group she co-founded, also is in L.A.

L.A. INSULT OF THE WEEK: The Princeton Review’s 1997 edition of “The Best 310 Colleges” carries lists of “What’s hot” and “What’s not” among the students of each school. One of the items on the “What’s not” list for USC is:

“Los Angeles.”

THE CONTINUING IMPACT OF THE SIMPSON CASE: On Thanksgiving Day, Orange County TV station KDOC played a 12-hour marathon of “Perry Mason” TV episodes.

LATE RETURNS: Yes, like election officials, we’re a bit slow counting results in our own contests. Even though we already named a winner in our search to find a term to replace “Chairman” of the Board of Supervisors, we were impressed with the late suggestion of Ken Miller of Redondo Beach.

He points out that “in Los Angeles, the entertainment capital of the world, there is only one undisputed Chairman of the Board.” Hence his suggestion to call the supervisor holding that position . . . the Sinatra.

CHEERS AND STATIC: In its December issue, Vanity Fair presents the magazine’s “Hall of Fame ’96 Radio Stars,” who include sportscasters Vin Scully (Dodgers) and Chick Hearn (Lakers), KABC’s Michael Jackson and such syndicated performers as Dr. Demento (KSCA-FM), Howard Stern (KLSX-FM), Rush Limbaugh (KFI-AM), Laura Schlessinger (KFI-AM), and Tom Leykis (not heard locally).

It’s a shame, though, that so many locals failed to qualify for the Top 79 list, including Ken Minyard (KABC-AM), Jerry Brown (KPFK-FM) and, especially, Robert W. Morgan (KRTH-FM).

We say “especially” in Morgan’s case because not only was he snubbed by Vanity Fair but his Walk of Fame star on Hollywood Boulevard has been in storage for months because of the Metro Rail construction. Maybe the Topanga Fish Market could find a spot for it.

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Heading north on the 405 Freeway in Carson, we noticed a billboard that said, “Got milk? Next 1,582,000 exits.” No need to get out your Thomas Guide. We checked. The 1,582,000th exit from that point is in Santa Clarita.