Teen Sex: ‘Too Scary Out There For Me’ : Two friends’ lives got completely messed up; two friendships were lost.

Everyone who is anyone seems to be having sex. I’m not saying that every single person is having sex, but having sex is just as common as smoking weed. Pretty much everyone has tried it at least once.

It’s too scary out there for me. Even safe sex doesn’t seem that safe. But I think the thing that scares me most about sex is how much it hurts when your relationship doesn’t work out. This happened to my friend and it broke my heart--hers too, I guess.

When I was 12, I hooked up two friends of mine. I knew they would be a great couple. They were both sweet and thoughtful and had great personalities. At school everyone envied them. They were always holding hands, totally lovey-dovey. He got her rings and bracelets for her birthday. One time at school he hired some guys to come and sing her favorite song, “Always and Forever,” then later took her and her family out to the Red Lobster. She once got him an autographed Cowboys jersey, his favorite team.

He’d carry her books for her, and one Christmas, gave her all his hard-earned Christmas money so she could visit her family in Guatemala for the holidays.

But two years later, things took a turn for the worse. The spark was fading. They didn’t go out much. The couple that everyone had once envied seemed just like any other couple. He wanted to do more than just make out. To be honest, so did she, but her family was Catholic. Her mom always said, “Your virginity is everything. Don’t ever give it away. Only to the man that you marry and love.”

The more she wouldn’t put out, the more aggravated and distant he got. It was, “Sorry, I forgot about the date.” “I forgot about your birthday.” “I forgot to call you back--I was busy.” They were breaking up and getting back together every other day.

One day she told me she had the solution--to have sex. She said, “This will make everything better.” I said, “No, this is what he wants.” I tried to convince both of them it was just going to make everything worse. But they were like, tonight’s the night. They shut me out. She was fighting to save a relationship that wasn’t meant to be.

The next day they were all happy, holding hands again. Then two weeks later, she came to me. “What am I going to do? My period hasn’t come.”

She called me the next day. She was pregnant. She had to tell her boyfriend and her parents.

She invited me over to be there when she told him. His response was: “Are you sure it’s mine?” She gave away her treasure to this guy, and he was basically saying she was a tramp.

The next day, he wanted to know why she didn’t get an abortion. She told him she could never do that because it was against the teachings of the Catholic church. Meanwhile, her parents were upset. They wanted to know how she was going to take care of a baby.

She was a smart, college-bound girl with good grades. So they looked into adoption. I think this was the right decision, because she couldn’t excel in school and take care of a baby.

The months went by. Everybody at school could tell she was pregnant. But her relationship with her boyfriend got worse. He wouldn’t take her calls, he wasn’t there. When my friend was six months pregnant, he wanted to see other people. She reminded him that it was his kid, too. He said, I’m too young to be taking care of a kid. So she was on her own.

In her seventh month she stayed home because of complications. She had her baby in her eighth month and gave it away for adoption. I haven’t seen her since then because her parents sent her away to Guatemala so she could learn some values.

So in the end, they split up and I lost both their friendships. Sex messed everything up. I think teens should think about the love and friendship they are putting at risk when they have sex, not to mention the risk of pregnancy and AIDS. These days, the only person you can trust is yourself. That’s why I have better things to do than go out there and lose my virginity.

I think we all feel lonely and want to feel loved, but sex won’t fix that. It’s just a temporary physical act. I don’t know exactly how you find love, but I know you can’t fix things instantly by having sex.