Do Not Pass Go, Dude:Perhaps it’s a...
Do Not Pass Go, Dude:
Perhaps it’s a sign that “real estate” is no longer a phrase too painful to be uttered out loud here. So what if some homeowners still feel like they’re stuck on the equivalent of Baltic Avenue in the long Southland slump? The game maker USAOPOLY has introduced “Monopoly, the Los Angeles Edition.”
Players using the traditional tokens and rules have a chance of landing on such local properties as Sunset Boulevard (hopefully, not after dark), Angels Flight and the Original Pantry restaurant.
The familiar cards are included, too, but the creators missed the mark with the “Go to Jail” command. For this edition, the card should say that since you’re going to L.A. County Jail, you won’t need a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. You’ll probably be released by mistake any minute.
UNREAL ESTATE: “Monopoly, the Los Angeles Edition” has given local property values a sort of topsy-turvy treatment.
The equivalent of Boardwalk is Dodger Stadium (price $400), which is, of course, a profitable operation. But stylish Park Place has been replaced by the beleaguered L.A. Coliseum ($350), which was heavily damaged by the Northridge quake. No pro football team wants to live there.
Low-rent blights on the board include Rodeo Drive ($100) and the J. Paul Getty Museum ($180), much less desirable than the Pantry ($220). Sure, the hash brown potatoes are tasty, but do we see the influence of the Pantry owner--Mayor Richard Riordan--here?
The cheapest properties, obviously candidates for urban renewal, are USC and UCLA ($60 each), possibly a sign of their decline as football teams.
DO THEY NEED ANY STINKING BADGES? Some L.A. City Council members want to know why 1,700 officials are carrying city badges that resemble police shields--this after an incident in which one official was accused of flashing his badge to give the impression that he was an LAPD officer.
We’re reminded of an incident nearly half a century ago. Back then, L.A. newspaper reporters were issued badges by the county Sheriff’s Department. Although the badges conferred no law enforcement powers upon the holders, some scribes were known to flash them to obtain information. More than one reporter was known to bang on a resident’s front door, show the badge and say he worked “downtown.”
But after Pete Pitchess became sheriff, some unflattering articles about his department led, by coincidence, to a revocation of the badges. Stan Leppard, an eloquent rewrite man on the old L.A. Herald-Express responded with this poem:
Wherein have we faltered?
Wherein have we failed?
Why this curt dismissal from
An office we once hailed?
Here’s your badge, dear sheriff,
But with a sad alas:
I hope that you will take it
And stick it
Away in a file somewhere.
TREE’S A CROWD: Long Beach waiter Mike Smalls has nothing against Christmas. He just doesn’t like Christmas trees. “The needles,” he explains. “They get all over everything.” He doesn’t put one up where he lives.
And his mother is careful about having him help her out with disposing of the tree at her house. “One time she asked me to put it out,” he said. “I just put a bag over it and put it by the curb.”
Next thing, he knew, he heard a cry from her. “My ornaments!” she said.
miscelLAny:
On Monday, the rain helped trap untold numbers of L.A. motorists in traffic jams and caused 20 SigAlerts. A real nuisance for commuters. On the other hand, it was a fitting beginning for Transportation Awareness Week.
Hot Monopoly real estate tips: For $180, take the Getty. And don’t put a hotel on the Coliseum.
