Blessed Are Those Whose Charity Is Not Plastic

‘Tis the season to be hypocritical, but there ought to be a limit. Madison Avenue has produced many outrageous instances of hype and hypocrisy that still haunt us as Ghosts of Christmases Past. But this Christmas the pitch people for American Express have, in the current sports cliche, “taken it to the next level”--a level without precedent in its gall.

I can’t remember a holiday television ad campaign as shameless as American Express’ “Charge Against Hunger” commercial, the one that flashes stark black-and-white photographs of sad-eyed poor people backed by lines from John Lennon’s “Imagine.” (In one version, Yoko Ono makes an appearance; all she is saying, apparently, is that she has decided to give peace with corporations a chance.)

The “Charge Against Hunger” is a truly inspired concept. The basic idea is so simple: Help others, but not in that old-fashioned way of sacrificing your own desires to give to the less fortunate. A little self-denial is more than can be expected of a modern American--and more than a modern corporation would ask. Nothing would more quickly put a damper on corporate year-end cheer than a sudden outbreak of the sort of self-denial personified by the figure whose birth the holiday celebrates.

Don’t worry, be happy: You can have it all--Tickle Me Elmo and Nintendo 64--without feeling one twinge of guilt as long as you put it all on “The Card.” Go ahead, indulge yourself with all sorts of goodies and American Express will help the poor with the necessities.

The use of “Imagine” for this promotion is breathtaking in its audacity. “Imagine no possessions,” Lennon sings, “I wonder if you can. No need for greed or hunger . . . “ Then a narrator declares: “Imagine if every time you bought something with your American Express card . . . you helped feed someone who’s hungry.” Surely American Express cannot imagine no possessions, which would immediately translate into no credit cards and no profits. Yet this company sees nothing odd about using a song that preaches ‘60s-style socialism to entice people to go into debt buying possessions, profiting even more companies. A song that sees religion as a source of conflict (the line “And no religion, too” is, understandably, omitted from the commercial) is employed to hype a program geared to a season at least theoretically rooted in religion.

Does it occur to anyone that giving up just one typical Christmas purchase and contributing its price to a charity would do far more for the poor than charging hundreds of dollars on a credit card and having Amex contribute a minute percentage to charity?

If the use of “Imagine” to promote consumption is the Ghost of Christmas Present, what can we expect of the Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come? For next year’s “Charge Against Hunger,” American Express hucksters should consider drafting an earlier martyr for peace and “no possessions” into their war to maximize consumption and indulgence. Although John Lennon once said of himself and his fellow Beatles, “We’re more popular than Jesus,” Jesus remains “the reason for the season.” Why not borrow one of his hits to boost Christmas spending next year? The ad copy could go something like this:

Blessed are those who say “Charge it!” with spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Amex.

Blessed are those who spend, for they shall comfort others.

Blessed are the Amex stockholders, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who see hunger and thirst and support restaurants righteously, for they shall have gold cards.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall max out their credit without guilt.

Blessed are the window-shoppers, for they shall see goods.

Blessed are the profit-makers, for they shall be called sons of guns.

For the short version, how about: “And if anyone would sell you a coat, buy a cloak as well . . . Give to him who begs from you by borrowing to buy for yourself.”

You may say American Express is a dreamer, but it’s not the only one. It hopes today you’ll join it and look out for Number One.