Childless by Choice--and Now Regretful

Re “Older Parenthood--The Real Story” (Jan. 20): Bettina Boxall’s thoughtful article on parenthood for the older person misses one aspect that I have personally run into--to my sadness.

In 1957, when baby boomers were first coming into being, I married at the age of 43. My husband was 48. We were both only children and this was a first marriage for each of us. Neither of us were part of extended families of cousins. We had a lot of thinking between us about the possibility of a child.

Our decision was to enjoy our lives together, which we did until his death three years ago.

Today, a widow, no blood ties in any direction, I find that I am often stuck in a lonely wilderness in social gatherings that are largely feminine. I have no “conversation exchange” material. When I am able to invite someone to go to a program or a visit elsewhere with me, all too often the reply is, “Oh, that’s my grandson’s birthday” or “I’m going to my son’s home for the weekend” or “I’m baby-sitting.”

Before saying no by choice to the visit of the stork, give a thought to the later years when your peers are tips of pyramids and you’re only the top of a lonesome pole.

ELIZABETH LENT

Pasadena