The Prince of the Pickup Picks Up the Pieces
Today’s offering is a tale of Hollywood, and like most such stories, it could have begun anywhere. Gregory Charles Royal’s story starts in Minneapolis.
It was only last September, Royal says, that he was sitting with some friends, talking about women and the art of the pickup. Royal, a jazz musician, was boasting that, with the right line, he could ingratiate himself with any woman.
“Something like, ‘Excuse me, baby, but I beg you not to drink tonight.’ Then she asks why. ‘Because you’ve been designated to drive me home.’ ”
The brainstorming had begun. What America needs, Royal decided, was a compact disc packed with pickup lines and party music. And to stir interest, why not a toll-free line people could call to hear new lines and share their own favorites?
Soon the phone line was in operation--back then, it was (888) Pick Up 6. Soon after that, Royal produced his Pick Up 6 CD. Local papers wrote stories and Royal put an ad for the disc in an alternative weekly. “Great stocking stuffer for singles! . . . Great party CD! . . . Only $6.99!”
It all happened so fast, the response was so encouraging, Royal says, that he was already dreaming up a “Pick Up 6” TV show when the phone rang.
It felt like kismet. The caller introduced himself as Michael Ramon, a senior producer with Dunbrook Associates, a TV production company based in Burbank. He told Royal about a development deal Dunbrook had with Fox TV. He happened to be in town when he noticed Royal’s ad in the local alternative paper.
Soon, Royal says, they were meeting at the Marriott. Ramon told Royal about his idea for a talk show using pickup lines. Royal then told Ramon about his idea--sort of a hybrid of “Studs” and “Candid Camera.” Contestants, you see, would try out their come-ons in public settings while a hidden camera recorded the results.
Ramon loved it. A few days later, on the day after Christmas, the two men signed a two-page contract in which Dunbrook would agree “to provide production services and the necessary state of the art studio facilities to Client, for the immediate purpose of producing three episodes of the Pick Up 6 game show, created and written by Client, for the Fox Television Network.”
The next day, Ramon told him about Fox’s excitement over the project, and the need to start production ASAP. Everything, he told Royal, was looking good. There was just one small problem: Starting production early would put him over his current budget. Ramon told Royal he needed $20,000 more to get started, that he was willing to invest $12,000 and that he wondered how much Royal could invest. He reminded Royal of the recoupment clause in their contract.
“I could do 4K now and 4K in about a week,” Royal recalled. “So I went to the hotel and gave him the first 4K that night in cash and had him sign a receipt. Gentleman’s agreement on the other 4K.”
Ramon and Royal agreed to meet again in Los Angeles on Jan. 8. Soon Royal and his girlfriend, Cara Wehrenberg, a collaborator in the enterprise, hooked a U-Haul trailer behind Cara’s Chevy Cavalier. They arrived in L.A. a few days later and signed a six-month lease on an apartment.
Royal prepared a news release and faxed it around town, hoping to stir interest. On Jan. 8, he called the two phone numbers he had for Dunbrook. On one he heard a fax tone. The other was never answered.
When Royal called Fox, people there told him they’d never heard of Ramon or the TV show. The next day, Royal decided to knock on Dunbrook’s door. The address was 3800 W. Magnolia Blvd., at the corner of Screenland Drive.
Dunbrook’s office, it turned out, was a phone booth. Its number was indeed one that the man calling himself “Michael Ramon” had provided.
It was only then, Greg Royal says, that he realized how badly he’d been had. He made more phone calls and could find nobody who’d heard of Michael Ramon or Dunbrook Associates. A kind soul advised him to register his idea with the Writers’ Guild. Royal did so that day.
“We always discourage people from interacting with people who charge fees,” says Veronica Roman, an agency assistant with the Writers’ Guild.
Royal says he thought he knew what he was doing. As a musician, he’s signed a few contracts and this one looked legitimate to him. Now he says he understands how his own excitement clouded his judgment. If only he’d called Fox earlier. . . .
Here he was trying to create a TV show about another kind of hustle, and he got hustled himself. Only now, weeks later, is Royal able to laugh about it--and only just a little.
To pay the rent, Royal says, he’s looking for places to play his trombone. But he figures that while he’s here, he’ll keep pushing the “Pick Up 6” TV concept and hope for the best. Certainly some Hollywood types have grown rich off dumber ideas.
It calls to mind Royal’s favorite pickup line, the one he heard from a caller in Minneapolis. It goes like this: “Hey, baby, do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk by twice?”
The delivery, Royal says, matters more than the script.
The man who called himself Michael Ramon knows all about that.
Scott Harris’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Readers may write to Harris at the Times Valley Edition, 20000 Prairie St., Chatsworth 91311. Please include a phone number.
Here he was trying to create a TV show about another kind of hustle, and he got hustled himself.