Weirdest movie tie-in of the year:We know...

Weirdest movie tie-in of the year:

We know it’s only February but we wonder if anyone will come up with anything stranger than a press release from the California Dental Assn. Touting the wonders of a new machine that measures mouth odor, the Hollywoodish blurb begins:

“Volcano Breath: It Destroys Homes and Businesses Similar to Dante’s Peak (or Reek).”

Why stop at “Dante’s Peak”? We’re surprised the dental group didn’t also work in bad-breath references to “The Bridge on the River Kwai,” “Gone With the Wind” and, of course, “Forrest Gum.”

CASH FLOW IN THE FAST LANE: One of the pleasures of driving--and we can’t think of many in L.A.--is reading the catchy signs and billboards along the way. One of our favorite sights in Torrance, photographed last year by Byron Myhre, was the International Law Center’s cheerful sign.

Alas, when we drove by the other day, the legal services company had removed the second line of its sign--the one that referred to Accelerated Cash Flow Inc. (see photo). A public relations move, perhaps? We phoned the company for an explanation but it had no comment.

SOUNDS LIKE A DISASTER MOVIE IN THE MAKING: Our mention of the Ogden Nash jingle about the “dotter of I’s” who lived “in Van Nuys” disappointed a colleague of ours who lives in South Pasadena. Geography had nothing to do with it. He pointed out that that was an old Dr. Seuss favorite.

Fortunately, R.C. Lewis of La Mesa stepped forward to relate a poem that Nash did write. Lewis recalled the tale of “that great little optimist, Mr. McLoud,” who, when his house was invaded by roaches, “was grateful it wasn’t tarantulas” and when his wife went to San Francisco “was grateful it wasn’t Los Angeles.”

VALLEY DITTY: Then there was our foolish remark that no one could rhyme anything with Sylmar. Gary Bolen and Elyse Verse (who calls herself “Iamb Woman”) each found the same solution.

Bolen rhapsodized:

Your challenge would be checked If “Politically Incorrect” Would only tape in Sylmar With Bill Maher.

SUGAR LOW: The pre-Valentine’s Day stampede hit a See’s Candy store in Lakewood the other night. The line was so long and slow-moving that the shop delegated one clerk to pass out samples to mollify the waiting customers. Most of them seemed thankful, except for one woman who looked the clerk in the eye and declared, not at all sweetly: “No, I’m sorry. I don’t eat chocolates.”

miscelLAny:

Author Art Fein, who is updating his rock ‘n’ roll sights book, “L.A. Musical History Tour,” asks if anyone knows “where the Buffalo Springfield model bulldozer was parked, supplying the name for Steve Still’s new group?” Fein reports, by the way, that the revised edition will include such new landmarks as “the place where a guy named Jeff, arguing with his girlfriend Sue, crashed his car through a recording studio wall during a Blondie session, resulting in the Blondie song ‘Suzy & Jeffrey.’ ”