Grand Slam Now Merely Breakfast at Denny’s

Sweden’s Stefan Edberg, who has won nine Grand Slam tennis titles, is retiring at the ripe old age of 31.

So what’s he going to do?

“I can just be at home,” he said. “There’s always things to do around the house. I can sit down in the afternoon and have coffee and cake. I might take up golf and try to get better.

“I can walk out of my house every day, and just do whatever I want.”

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Trivia time: Who was the first boxer to simultaneously hold three world titles?

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Frustration: Seattle SuperSonic guard Craig Ehlo didn’t fare any better as a movie critic against Michael Jordan, his longtime nemesis, in a recent game against the Chicago Bulls.

“I told him I didn’t like his movie [Space Jam], wanted my money back and wasn’t going to buy his cologne,” Ehlo said. “Jordan just laughed and then went down and drilled another jump shot.”

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Come again? Nate Archibald, former NBA standout player, talking about Utah Jazz guard John Stockton: ‘It’s amazing that such a good player could come from Gondola State.”

No boat ride for Stockton. He played at Gonzaga.

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Bad old days: Iowa State basketball Coach Tim Floyd on his first coaching job--as an unpaid graduate assistant under new Hall of Famer Don Haskins at Texas El Paso:

“My wife, Beverly, taught school. We ate a lot of beanie weenies and Spam. It was a tough year.”

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Revelation: Minnesota Timberwolf President Kevin McHale, former Boston Celtic standout player, said of an interview session during All-Star weekend:

“This reminds me of all those sessions in the finals. One guy asked me if my arms had always been this long. I told him that, no, They had grown, just like the rest of me.”

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No destination: Phoenix forward Keith Tkachuk, on the mediocre Coyotes: “We’re going nowhere.”

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High-tech harassment: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “European soccer fans have unveiled a dangerous new problem: aiming hand-held lasers at players and officials. Seems they shine in their eyes and try to create collisions and accidents.

“Nice to see hooliganism keeping up with technology.”

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Trivia answer: Henry Armstrong, who held the featherweight, lightweight and welterweight titles in the late 1930s.

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And finally: From the Sporting News: “After winning back-to-back NBA titles, the [Houston] Rockets changed their uniforms in 1995 from the red and white with ‘Rockets’ on the chest to futuristic, funky script with pinstripes. The team also put the new sci-fi Rockets logo on their home court.

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“The result: Last season, the Rockets failed to make it to the NBA finals and the ghost of Buck Rogers appeared and asked for his uniform back.”