So that’s how you do it!Here are...
So that’s how you do it!
Here are two of the handy hints for marathon runners that Dan Fink found in a publication of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center: “Face forward” and “Don’t run with your arms.” But why leave us in suspense? If not with your arms then what?
A CLAIM THAT’S HARD TO SWALLOW: A label from an apple juice container arrived in the mail, courtesy of Connie Prentice of Whittier. Prentice commented: “I would have sent you the entire bottle, but since it was such a good source of Vitamin C, I ate it myself!”
THIS BEATS ALL: “Mistress of the Lash, Brandy, aka Betty Johnson Davis, the Grandmother Dominatrix,” begins a news release, “will attend the Hookers BallMarch 15 . . . paralleling the International Conference on Prostitution, ICOP ‘97” in the swinging San Fernando Valley.
We couldn’t divulge the location of the Hookers Ball even if you got rough with us. Details about the event are shrouded in secrecy. All we know is that “its cost and location will be provided” to those who register at ICOP 97, which is booked into the Airtel Plaza Hotel in Van Nuys March 13-16.
We can tell you that Granny Dominatrix, age 58, first made news in 1995 when her self-described “upscale dungeon” in San Clemente was raided by the cops. The Orange County district attorney’s office declined to prosecute, saying there was insufficient evidence (despite the seizure of whips, harnesses, ropes, chains and leather clothing).
Brandy, who says her service is about “role playing but no sex,” is the author of two books, “Mistress of the Lash” and “Letters From Slaves.” Lest you strait-laced readers think that Granny Dominatrix has no application to your lives, we should add that one of her favorite topics is “how she gets men to pay for the privilege of cleaning her house.”
You better believe that includes windows.
HIS NANNY CAN VOUCH FOR HIM: Gary Gray noticed that someone placed an ad in Santa Monica College’s newspaper for an extremely youthful driver. Luckily the kid gets off at 5:30 p.m.
L.A.--WE BROWSE IT! “As I pondered your question of how to write songs and poems that rhyme with the words ‘Los Angeles,’ I realized that the music industry has not yet captured the passion, romance, intrigue and despair of the Internet and, especially, e-mail,” said Rodger Mansfield (via e-mail). “Possible rhyming challenges would include ‘browser,’ ‘http,’ ‘www . . . ‘ “
Mansfield concludes: “When are the Red Hot Chili Peppers going to sing about browsers or Pat Boone about ‘Hey, Ms. MailServer’?”
WAXING NOSTALGIC: Our item about the West L.A. beautician who sings for her customers prompted a so-what? of sorts from Gloria Zucker, proprietor of Waxing by Gloria in Sherman Oaks. “I am a waxing technician who sings Carmen Miranda and I have been doing it for 23 years,” Zucker revealed. And there’s more. A juice restaurant “on Rodeo Drive held a contest for the best Carmen Miranda costume,” she said, “and I won $500.”
miscelLAny:
Running backward the entire way, Arvind Pandya of India made it from Los Angeles to New York in 107 days in 1984, according to the Guinness Book of Records. But did he run with his arms?