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Eyeing a Way Out of Homework

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Forget the old dog ate my homework excuse.

“After picking up my girlfriend’s 7-year-old son in Van Nuys to do some Christmas shopping,” wrote Harold Karaka of Laguna Hills, “I asked whether he had homework. I wanted to know how long we could stay out. He said he had homework but didn’t have to do it. When I asked why, his reply was: ‘My dialators are too big.’ Caught off guard, I finally realized that he had returned from the eye doctor’s office. The doctor had dilated his eyes and told his mother that he wouldn’t be able to read for several hours while his pupils were dilated.”

Karaka added: “Why didn’t I ever think of that excuse?”

THE EL NINO EFFECT IS EVERYWHERE: Gene Mestel of Glendale noticed a reference in a weekly newspaper to a dish that would seem handy in a rainstorm. And Joe Lodinsky of Lancaster came upon a flier advertising some “5-bucket” (as opposed to, 5-buckle) boots (see accompanying).

GET ME TO THE AUDITION ON TIME: Thespians aren’t famous for their reliability. But the senior citizens in Adrienne Omansky’s commercial acting class in L.A. have a thing about being prompt when auditioning for a TV spot or a video.

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“One of our seniors was volunteering as a Santa Claus at a nursing home when he got a call from a casting agent,” Omansky said. “He didn’t have time to change so he just went in his outfit.

“Our Clara Harvey, who is 70-plus, got lost on the way to another audition and she was standing on a street corner when a fire engine passed. The guys asked if she was OK and she told them she had to make this audition. It was on their way to the station house so they put her on board and delivered her.”

Omansky has about 700 students enrolled in her free class at the L.A. Community Adult School. (Information: 213-931-2106) She sends their pictures and biographies to local casting people.

“The rock videos are the wildest,” Omansky said. “Just last week they dressed up as street people for a shot in Echo Park. They looked so realistic that some of the real street people came over and asked them if they needed any help.”

WHEN IRISH EYES SEE RED: Adding a touch of class to this column, actress Maureen O’Hara phoned to give the Irish slant on the mysterious hand signal incident discussed here. You’ll recall that a woman was cut off by a truck driver who then held up his palm with his index and small fingers outstretched.

The Dublin-born O’Hara said, “In Ireland, that’s the curse of the devil. It’s very evil.” She added with a laugh, “When you go to a horse racing meeting you make the sign at all the other horses so your horse will win.”

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O’Hara said that road rage in Ireland, however, is comparatively rare. “Once I bumped my car into someone’s fender outside a supermarket,” she said. “I was getting out of my car to say I would pay for the cost when I heard a policeman tell the other driver, ‘Now, she didn’t mean it.’ I don’t think you’d hear that here.”

miscelLAny:

In a newspaper ad, Mary Garland, a San Pedro-area real estate agent, took note of the fact that her favorite football team won’t be appearing in any post-season games. The ad said: “Need work. USC grad. No bowl game. Available on New Year’s Day and all through the holidays to assist you with your real estate needs.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.

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