Forbidden Love in ‘Late Bloomers’

Lesbian chic gives way to applique sweaters and Aquanet in “Late Bloomers,” a weirdly mundane morality tale about sapphic love in the South.

Not, mind you, that there is any real sense of place in this movie, produced by siblings Julia, Gretchen and Stephen Dyer, written by Gretchen, directed by Julia. It’s set in a suburb, the type insular enough that any extramarital affair--much less one between a math teacher-basketball coach like Dinah Groshardt (Connie Nelson) and a school secretary-faculty wife like Carly Lumpkin (Dee Hennigan)--would tear a Tyson-sized chunk out of the local fabric of life. The gay aspects of the story are almost, if not quite, irrelevant. But, of course, if it didn’t have a gay aspect, a movie this pedestrian wouldn’t get a second look.

When they’re not laughing up their sleeves outright, the sisters Dyer do plenty of nudging and winking, beginning with their opening shot--a bunch of pansies--and moving on to the characters’ surnames, the metaphoric turtles that Dinah keeps in her spartan apartment, the dialogue (“There’s something fishy going on in this school”) and the scene of the crime, Eleanor Roosevelt High School (we all know about Eleanor, don’t we?). It’s the kind of place where the obtuse principal posts a daily platitude (“You miss 100% of the shots you never take”) in order to inspire his student body, who are as uninspiring a group as were ever uninspired by the American educational system.

*

Much of “Late Bloomers” suggests a visual version of the principal’s sloganeering--call it the dark side of Hallmark--and the film possesses a condescending attitude toward its own subject matter. The severe-looking Dinah and the pretty, plump Carly--whose husband, Rom (Gary Carter) has long cooled to her charms--are the two most unhappy folk in town, suggesting that their love is as much about desperation as passion.

The townsfolk are aghast--during a basketball game coached by Dinah, the rumor of their affair literally spreads from ear to ear--but they’re also grotesque stereotypes of small-town parents, willing to voice the most Neanderthal opinions without ever suggesting that perhaps adultery, rather than homosexuality, is the more important issue regarding their children.

When Dinah and Carly are fired, ostracized and then decide to get married, the fact that Rom is in attendance, listening to the women’s pronouncements of mutual love--he’s still Carly’s legal husband, after all--is either cruel or stupid, probably the latter. If it’s so important that the two women wed, shouldn’t Carly get divorced first? I don’t know, call me old-fashioned. Call the Dyers smug.

The cast performs well in spite of the material. Both Carter and Lisa Peterson, who plays Carly’s daughter Val, are quite good. As are Nelson and Hennigan, even if the most memorable scene will always remain their naked basketball game. They’re playing “one on one.” Get it? I wish I hadn’t.

* Unrated. Times guidelines: The sexual nature of the plot, its language, a nude basketball scene and sex-in-silhouette make this inappropriate fare for children and young teenagers.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

‘Late Bloomers’

Connie Nelson: Dinah Groshardt

Dee Hennigan: Carly Lumpkin

Gary Carter: Rom Lumpkin

Lisa Peterson: Val Lumpkin

A One Mind Productions Feature, released by Strand Releasing. Director Julia Dyer. Producers Gretchen Dyer, Stephen Dyer, Julia Dyer. Screenplay by Gretchen Dyer. Cinematographer Bill Schwarz. Editors Julia Dyer, Gretchen Dyer. Costumes Happy Yancey, Mattie O’Neal. Music Ted Pine. Production design Michael McGarty. Running time: 1 hour, 44 minutes.

* Exclusively at the Sunset 5, 8000 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (213) 848-3500; Monica 4-Plex, 1332 2nd St., Santa Monica, (310) 394-9741.