Four!

There’s tennis elbow, swimmer’s ear and now golf-ball liver. The malady recently left a 65-year-old Irish golfer suffering fatigue, stomach pain, jaundice and hepatitis, according to the British Medical Journal. Luckily, the dreaded ailment is easy to prevent: Don’t put golf balls in your mouth. Apparently, the Irish golfer licked the golf balls clean and unwittingly ingested traces of a weed-killing chemical. Doctors recommend golfers use the ball washer, a rag, a paper towel, anything other than your tongue.

Foreskins and Cow Tendons

We’ll probably never get the full story behind the development of a new tissue that seems to hold great promise for the 6 million Americans who suffer from skin ulcers and other chronic wounds. Researchers at the University of Miami School of Medicine discovered that a mix of laboratory-engineered tissue from newborns’ circumcised foreskin and from cow tendons appears to heal wounds more effectively than traditional methods. Researchers gave little information about their inspiration for coupling the two tissues. Well, some things the public doesn’t need to know.

A Weighty Decision

Tired of your scales groaning when you weigh yourself every morning? Now you never have to look a three-digit number in the face again. With Tanita Corp.’s body-fat monitor (cost about $200), you can be certain two digits will cover it. (Body fat shouldn’t exceed 24% for men, 27% for women, experts say.) According to a press release, the TBF-531 uses “Bioelectrical Impedance Analysis” to measure your body fat within seconds. Whatever. Just remember this is one test where 100% is very bad. For more information, call (800) 9-TANITA.