Laugh Lines
* “The Department of Education says 40 million Americans cannot read or count. It’s astounding. And if you don’t believe it, just take a look at the person directly in front of you in the express checkout line.” (Argus Hamilton)
* “S.A. Schapiro of Milwaukee is suing the Nivea skin-care company because its sunblock failed to keep him from getting sunburned on his vacation,” says Premiere Morning Sickness. “If he wins this one, he plans to sue God for making the Earth too close to the sun.”
* TCI and Microsoft are working to combine TVs and computers. “Oh great,” says the Cutler Daily Scoop. “The only exercise I was getting was going from my TV to my computer.”
* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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