Meet Some Winners Who Beat the Odds

Last week, the Children’s Defense Fund, an advocacy group, held its annual conference in Los Angeles. In 1990, CDF initiated “Beat the Odds,” a project that celebrates the achievements of youths who, despite unfortunate circumstances, persevered personally and academically. Four of the honorees spoke to MARY REESE BOYKIN about their triumphs over adversity.

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MICHAEL DALLATORE

18, senior, Jordan High School

When I was 3, my family moved from Nicaragua to the United States. All I remember of my country of origin are the tanks rumbling through the middle of the city. My family made a good move by coming to the U.S., but things changed.

At first, the doctors thought that my father had kidney stones. When they finally detected cancer four years later, it was too late. My father died when I was 12.

My family had to move to a smaller apartment even though we had my father’s Social Security benefits; he had been the sole provider.

A few months later, my mother got sick. She, my brother and I moved in with my eldest brother, his wife and their three kids. Over a two-year period, both my mother’s hips had to be replaced. She would spend one month in the hospital and five months in a convalescent home. After football practice, I would take the bus three times a week from Watts to Gardena to visit my mom. On weekends, the entire family would visit her.

Besides family, it was my football coach who inspired me during this difficult time. He taught me the three Ds: discipline, determination, drive. It was hard when my mother was ill, but I maintained a 4.0 grade point average.

I think hardships happen for a reason. They are like spiritual guidelines. So when things happen, I try to look at the brighter side and to look forward to turning that bad experience into something good.

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ERIN TUCKER

18, senior, Banning High School

My parents separated when I was 6. I lived with my mom, but she was never really there. She had a lot of problems. My earliest family memories are those of going fishing and going to church with my father.

When I was almost 15, I announced to my mom that I planned to get my own apartment in two years with a girlfriend. My mother became upset and told me to get out right then. I left the next morning and lived with a friend for a year.

At 16, I got my own apartment. I earned money by baby-sitting all day. I missed a year of school. Then I moved in with my father for about six weeks. His wife became angry about something and ordered my father to put me out. My stepmother told my father, “Here’s $25 to put her on a bus. I don’t care where she goes.” I came to Los Angeles to live with my brother and his wife. They have a home, a real family--not just a group of people living together.

So at 16 and in the 10th grade, I enrolled in school. I went to summer school and also took classes at Compton Community College to make up for the year that I didn’t attend school.

During the hard years, I didn’t pay attention to my feelings. I never sat and thought about what was going on. I would just do what ever I had to as things came.

I was not as aware of Christ then as I am now. But he was with me, even if I didn’t know it. I am a peer counselor and I tell other young people who face problems, “Believe in yourself. If you don’t, nobody else will.”

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ALEJANDRO JUAREZ

17, senior, Bell High School

My father left when I was 2 years old. Some years later, my mom got a new boyfriend and there were times when I wouldn’t talk to my mom because of him. When they had a daughter together, he showed favoritism to her. It was like my older sister and I were in the way. Whenever my mother’s boyfriend and I would get into an argument, my mom would bring up my dad, how much my older sister and I reminded her of him. Her boyfriend was a new start for her.

When I was 16, I got into an argument with my mom’s boyfriend. He always yelled at my mom when he was angry with me. My mom would ask me not to talk back to him, but this time I did. He said he didn’t want me to live there anymore. My mom took his side.

I moved in with my uncle and aunt and their three children. But about two months later, my uncle got sick and died. He was the provider. I moved in with my older sister in an apartment she rented with another family. It was a tough year. I worked 36 hours a week. I would wake up at 6 a.m. and arrive at school at 7:30 a.m. I am captain of my swim team. I would swim from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m., work as a cook from 6 p.m. to 1 a.m., do two hours of homework after work. I maintained a 3.7 grade point average.

When my sister married during my senior year, I moved in with her and her husband. I cut my job hours to weekends only.

I vented through my journals. One day in my advanced placement English class, the teacher instructed us to analyze a poem and write our own. One poem led to two, then three. My passion became reading and writing.

When bad things happen, you either die or keep on going. I kept on going. I am more optimistic now. I know that I am going to get somewhere instead of just going without a purpose.

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SAIRA SOTO

18, senior, Garfield High School

We are all different in some way for a reason. Those of us who have differences that are obvious just have a harder time getting things in life. Eventually, things will come together, I know.

I became aware that I was different when I was 4 years old. I had raw skin and scars on my hands and face. I tried not to look in the mirror at myself because I didn’t want to be reminded of the way I looked. Sometimes, I could feel other children’s stares.

Doctors kept sending me to other doctors. When I was 12, they found out that my skin was sensitive to animals and dust. I lived where there was no pavement, just lots of dust. With medication, little by little my skin condition improved. So did my self-esteem.

I found comfort in music. Music relaxes me. In the Garfield band, I am the section leader for alto saxophones.

Dealing with my physical differences has made me more sensitive to others. I find myself listening and trying to solve their problems when I can’t actually solve my own.