Different Faces, Same Pork

The next time that some supposed tightfisted fiscal change sweeps through Congress, it would be good to remember the 1998 federal transportation bill. That talk of frugality is all theater. It doesn’t matter whether the Republicans or Democrats are in charge or whether the young turks have pushed out the career politicians or vice versa. Sooner or later, they all become experts in hog calling.

This congressional year’s all-you-can-eat pork buffet comes in the form of BESTEA, the transportation bill that fixes federal spending on everything from highways to mass transit for the next six years. Last year, one target figure for the bill, then called ISTEA, was $170 billion, which already represented a big increase over the transportation bill that was set to expire.

Now, the House and Senate versions of the legislation stand at $217 billion and $214 billion, respectively--so high that President Clinton considers the whole bloated exercise a monumental budget buster. Here are a few of the transportation projects that the hogs consider vital to the nation’s economic vitality in the 21st century:

* In Pennsylvania, $500,000 for sand-colored sidewalks and gray granite curbs along streets between affluent Lower Merion Township’s train and bus stations.

* Somewhere, a botanical garden.

* A Greyhound Bus history center in Minnesota.

* A road to an Allentown, Pa., microbrewery.

* A road to a minor league baseball stadium in Dayton, Ohio.

There’s much more, but you get the point. In fact there is $9 billion in funding for 1,400 to 1,500 so-called “demonstration projects.” In the 1982 federal transportation bill, there were just 10 such projects.

All of this has helped give the bill a few new nicknames, such as “Heist-Tea.” Sounds like it’s also time to give a new nickname to the current majority on Capitol Hill. Soo-eee!