Or Is It the U. of Southern Cerritos?
Is there a UCLA mole working for “Barron’s Compact Guide to Colleges”? In what sounds like some kind of prank, the latest edition of the guide states that USC is “22 miles south of the Civic Center.”
If you see any dazed USC freshmen wandering around Cerritos or Lakewood, please direct them to the northbound Harbor Freeway.
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STOP ORDER: Author Steven B. Fink is writing a book about memorable parental advice and I’m honored that he asked me to recall any pearls of wisdom I received. The most unforgettable tip from my father came when I was 16 years old. I was driving down Midvale Avenue in West Los Angeles when he leaned over and screamed:
“Look out!”
Fortunately this advice was tendered in time for me to avoid plowing into the parked car on my right--and thereby live long enough to obtain a driver’s license.
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SPEAKING OF LIFE’S DECISIONS. . . . Elaine Lipkin noticed a sign in Manhattan Beach that offers a tough choice, especially during this hot weather (see photo).
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ATTENTION--JOB APPLICANTS: The Pasadena reader who submitted today’s interview tip (see accompanying) cautions that it was posted at a staging area for game shows at CBS and was “probably meant more for the crowd than the hopeful contestant.”
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AMAZING CITIZEN TRICKS: The city of Paramount’s newsletter featured a double-no-header:
* L.A. County sheriff’s deputies were skeptical when a driver told them he crashed into a utility pole because he was bringing home a live rat to feed his pet snake and the rodent escaped from its container and ran across his shoulders. (I’ve used that excuse myself.)
But then the deputies saw the varmint near the glove compartment. Only one arrest was made--by Animal Control officers.
* A Paramount man allegedly smoking crack cocaine in a pipe in his frontyard fled when he saw deputies approach. But he couldn’t run too fast, the newsletter said, because “all the while” he was “puffing on the pipe.” He told arresting officers he knew he was going to jail but “wanted to finish his smoke first.”
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IS THERE A SOUND WALL? The heat may be on the painter who wrote “central hearing” on an L.A. sign, which was spotted by Perry Petschar (see photo).
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THAT BELOW-THE-BELTWAY SPEECH: With the suspense building Monday night prior to President Clinton’s extraordinary address, everything seemed slightly out of whack. For instance, CNN ran an ad by the St. Vincent Jewelry Center of L.A., which bragged that it offered the best values “for this Mother’s Day.” Hey, only 275 shopping days left.
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ACTUALLY, IT’S GREEK TO ME: So ingrained in the consciousness is the Clintonian soap opera that my 10-year-old daughter, Sarah, is not immune. She told me, “Daddy, I had the funniest dream. I dreamed that Monica Lewinsky testified to the grand jury. But she spoke in Spanish. And they kept saying, ‘Huh? Huh?’ ”
miscelLAny:
The L.A.-area 99 Cents Only chain, always ready with a commentary on current events, advertised some “Presidential Specials,” including a stain remover as well as a copy of “Partners in Power,” Roger Morris’ book about the White House’s fun couple.
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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.
