Readers Name That Decade

By MARTIN MILLER

Aug. 26, 1998 12 AM PT

TIMES STAFF WRITER

As one reader put it, we’re talking about the real Y2K problem.

We don’t mean the one the media seem intent upon beating to death until doomsday--which may not be too far off, actually. No, we’re talking about a much more serious problem than a few computer glitches and the collapse of the worldwide banking system.

Just what do we call the first decade of the millennium? We’ve been working around the clock to bring you the answer to this earthshaking question. Then, we realized this is the ‘90s (which are beginning to look more and more like the ‘70s) and decided to put our readers to work for us without pay.

And, boy, did they work. Seventy-eight people mailed, faxed or e-mailed their nominations to us. The replies were exactly what we expected. They were illegible, incoherent and rude.

Not true, of course--just slipping in a little ‘90s humor while there’s still time.

The comments were illuminating, thoughtful and clever, but before we get to them, there’s another matter we must clear up. Many readers apparently were deeply, deeply, deeply troubled by the implication that the millennium begins in the year 2000, not 2001.

“People who have spent their whole life in the 20th century should have no problem comprehending that 2000 is the last year of this decade, and not, repeat not, the first year of the next decade, the next century and the third millennium,” fumed Dr. Wolfgang Kaupisch of Westlake Village, as did half a dozen others.

Technically, of course, the good doctor and his friends are right. But the zeitgeist says otherwise. If you don’t believe us, try getting a hotel room at a decent place for the night of Dec. 31, 1999.

That said, on to the suggestions:

* I think the years between 2000 and 2010 should be called “Snake Eyes,” since the new millennium ends with “00.”

JONATHAN ERDE

Los Angeles

* How about calling the first decade of the next century the “00s”? If the decade bombs, it will have been named appropriately. However, if the decade flies high, its name will have been so off the mark as to be really cool.

PETER WIECHERS

Kernville, Calif.

* How about “Milles,” pronounced the same as the name “Millie”? It’s short, easy to remember and different. I was a Depression baby, my four kids are boomers, and my two little grandchildren could be Milles. The two Ls retain the flavor of the word “millennium.”

HELEN MUES

Laguna Hills

* There’s only one possible name for the next decade. Obviously, the next 10 years should be called “the Naughties.”

STEVEN MORRIS

Torrance

* (An edited top 10 list)

1. The Zippers

2. The Decade Previously Sung About by the Artist Formerly Known as Prince.

3. The Cheery O’s.

4. The Preteens.

ROM MASTERSON

Riverside

* I remember the “old folks” refer to the years between 1900 and 1910 as 19 “aught” one, two, three, etc. I think the first decade of the new century should be called “The Aughts.”

NARLON DANIELS

Culver City

* The next decade should be called the Zip decade. Zip one, Zip two, etc. Zippy the Pinhead of comic strip fame should be hired to promote the new decade. If Zippy is unavailable, we could call on the Post Office to loan Mr. Zip to the effort.

ED HOLLOWELL

Lawndale

* We could just switch to one of the other four major world calendars and solve the whole problem!

JOHN THOMAS

Costa Mesa

* The first day of 2000 will be called ZOOO Year’s Day, with a curtsy to the Y2K confusion. In popular parlance, it’ll be a zoo. In the plural, the first decade of the century, and the century generally speaking, will be called the ZOOOS.

Look at “ZOOO.” It even looks like 2000. As for the sound, the standard definition of “zoo,” a place to keep wild animals penned up, will fit nicely in view of the emerging worldwide threat of terrorism.

JIM COLLIGAN

Los Angeles

* Call the first decade the 2KOs (2Kayos).

FRANCES E. MURPHY

Monterey Park

* I suggest we call the first decade of the next millennium “The Oughta-Mights.” If we devote 10 years to understanding what we ought to have done by now, we might be able to repair the social and personal damage that has been created by our neglect.

CATHERINE BACOS CLINCH

Los Angeles

* The first 10 years might be referred to as “The Recovery,” when we are recovering from “partying like it’s 1999,” Prince-style. We’ll be recovering from the stock market roller coaster, one-world-currency effects, and all those clones running around. Or, in our fast-food mentality, we might begin calling it the “McZeros.” Or, in a great deep booming voice, we could announce it as “The New Millennium.”

SUE HOYUELA

Pico Rivera

* If it were up to me (and yet it never seems to be), I would apply Ian Fleming-style digitry to the lean years of our next decade: double-oh-one, double-oh-two, etc. They just roll right off the tongue, don’t they? Not to mention the marketing potential for the James Bond sequel people when the year double-oh-seven dawns.

GABRIEL WINOGROND

Venice

* The first decade of the new millennium leaves us only one choice--”The Dot Decade.” [It’s] a bow to the computers that ingest, distribute and control information, communication, finances, travel, education, the media, home and office, peace and war and on and on.

BARBARA KUSSMAN

Encino

* The “Single” Decade.

BOB BRAHMS

Topanga

* The name for the new millennium should be the 2Ks. It’s simple and catchy.

LORENA ANDREWS

San Dimas

* The “Ots.” It comes from an old-fashioned (middle English) way of saying “zero.” Actually, aught.

VERONICA COOK

San Diego

* Let’s call them the “New Wonder Years” or the “Elementary Years.” After all, it is the beginning of the new millennium.