Don’t Buy Gifts That’ll Wind Up in Drawerland
There you are, tripping through the department store aisles, nearly desperate for a gift for that friend or family member. What will it be this year? A bottle of pricey fragrance for your sister that will turn rank with age because she can’t stand the smell of it? A key chain for your racquetball partner that he’ll throw in a drawer, adding to his collection of 20? Or how about a cute little hamster for your niece that she’ll profess undying love for, only to abandon it two weeks later?
Isn’t holiday shopping fun?
Thanks to your trusty Fashion Police, we are going to make you the savviest shopper in the mall. We’ll reveal the biggest mistakes people make when buying gifts for men, women and children, even when their heart is in the right place.
We’ll also tell you the best foolproof gifts to give if you’re out of time and ideas. So before you head out, pay attention:
Gifts for Women
* Perfume: It’s no wonder fragrances are so popular this time of year--consumers are bombarded with ads for months touting this as the perfect gift. And it could be, if you know the person’s favorite scent. If you don’t, we’re talking about a hefty chunk of change wasted on something that may ferment into swill.
A common mistake is sampling a perfume from a bottle, a piece of paper or the saleswoman’s arm, and deciding you like it. First of all, who cares what you like? Second, fragrances smell different on different people. Body chemistry, other conflicting scents (hair spray, deodorant) can drastically alter a perfume or cologne.
Do a little sleuthing and find out what her favorite scent is, or ask her flat out. A less expensive option is to get other products in that line, such as soap, powder or lotion.
* Jewelry: Jewelry is an extremely personal item, often saying more about the person than the clothes she wears. Is she the pierced eyebrow type, or a single strand of pearls? Most jewelry may be one-size-fits-all, but it’s not one-taste-fits-all.
If you don’t want your gift to end up at the bottom of the jewelry box, study your giftee carefully to see what she wears and doesn’t wear. It also helps knowing her favorite jewelry stores.
* Lingerie / Pajamas: Let’s face it guys--giving sexy lingerie is more to your benefit than hers. Men seem to have this idea that when women are alone they like to dress up in lace teddies. Sorry to burst your bubble, but we actually prefer old T-shirts and sweats. So save the naughty stuff for some other time--and you’ll be spared that forced fake smile when she opens the box.
If you’re set on giving pajamas, go for cozy, pretty and feminine. It doesn’t have to be a grandmotherish flannel nightgown. There are plenty of nightshirts and PJ sets in silk that are glamorous and girlie.
* Scarves: This may seem like an all-purpose, no-fail gift; after all, what woman wouldn’t like a square of silk with a pretty design on it? Well, plenty of women. The female population is divided into two camps: those who wear scarves and those who don’t. Seldom does a nonwearer switch teams, so if you’re not sure, better to scrap the idea altogether.
* Handbags: Handbags are an extension of a woman’s psyche. We won’t get all Freudian on you, but you can’t just pick out any handbag and think it will do. Some women like enormous totes, others like teeny purses that barely hold a compact. Some like leather, others want fabric. Handbags are also like clothes--we have to try them on before we buy them. If you must, just go for a basic coin purse.
Gifts for Men
* Ties: There’s a reason ties are considered the Ultimate Cop-Out Gift--because they are. All right, there are some men who love getting ties. Still, others shudder at the sight of that unmistakable thin rectangular box. It could hold a handsome Armani, or some hideous thing with nauseatingly cute little bears on it.
Unless he really wants a tie, spare him the annual torture-fest. He’ll appreciate you for it.
* Fun Clothes: You know what we’re talking about: colorful patterned sweaters, argyle socks, a loud print shirt. Maybe you hate his boring wardrobe and want to pep it up a bit. You know what? He likes his boring wardrobe. And he’d probably like another beige polo shirt, not a lime green cardigan.
* Wallets: Most of what we said about handbags applies to men’s wallets. Although there’s less variation in styles, men are still picky about what they like. That’s why they’ll stand at the counter cramming wallets down their back pocket to see which one fits. Best to let him pick it out.
* Key Chains / Cuff Links / Money Clips: Although these items are dissimilar, they usually end up in the same place: a drawer, never to see the light of day. Key chains are such a stupid gift they practically scream, “I didn’t know what to get you, but you probably have keys, most people do, so here’s a key chain.”
If you know a man who wears a lot of French cuffs or is often found in a tuxedo, go for the cuff links. Otherwise, don’t waste your money.
We have never seen a guy use a money clip except in B-movies set in Vegas, but if yours likes them and uses them, go for it.
* Liquor: In this era of political correctness, it’s surprising that booze is still on some gift lists. We’re not talking about bringing your dinner party host a nice bottle of merlot; this is the guy-to-guy practice of giving a bottle of hard liquor. We shouldn’t have to spell it out for you, but here goes anyway: Not everyone drinks, and even those who do don’t necessarily go for the 80-proof stuff. Opt for something nonalcoholic if you want to send a beverage.
No-Fail Gifts for Men and Women
* Food: It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t like food. Even the pickiest vegetarians, vegans, lactose-intolerant, wheat-free, no-salt people have to eat something. Luckily there’s no shortage of specialty food stores and catalogs that offer everything from fresh fruit to gourmet chocolate, pate, sausage, coffee and tea, jam, cheese pastry, fish, meat and fowl. There’s even fruitcake!
* Food II: Dinner for two at a favorite restaurant is a great gift. Usually this is touted for couples with kids, but it’s appreciated by everyone. Most restaurants can help you make arrangements.
* Movie Tickets: With movies at $8 per person in some theaters, seeing a film can be prohibitive, especially for families. No doubt some passes would be well-received.
* Picture Frames: Usually people have more photos than frames. Frames are easy to find and not that expensive, but be on the safe side and choose a simple style that goes with almost any decor.
* Candles: Candles come in a zillion colors, shapes and sizes, and they don’t cost a bundle. But don’t get a scented one, in case someone’s allergic or has a sensitive nose.
* Gift Certificates: OK, this one’s no secret, but it bears repeating. You can get creative and give certificates to video rental places, craft, art supply or fabric stores, spas, gourmet grocery shops, pet stores, wine stores, even specialty film processing labs. And it beats handing over a wad of cash.
* Gift Certificates II: If you know someone with a particular interest such as art, history or science, a museum membership is a wonderful present and doesn’t spoil, shrink or make you gain weight. Magazine subscriptions are another sure bet, and there are periodicals on almost every subject in the world. Just make sure that they don’t already receive it and that it covers a subject they’re interested in.
Gifts for Infants and Toddlers
* Clothing: Kids grow so fast they constantly need new duds. But you can go very wrong by choosing items that are fussy and hard to get in and out of. Even a simple row of buttons can become a 15-minute exercise in frustration trying to get the kid dressed.
Try to resist those cute little frilly dresses with the crinolines and ruffles. They’re usually very uncomfortable and almost always have to be dry-cleaned.
The same goes for boys’ outfits that include bow ties, regular ties or suspenders. And ixnay on the ultra-cute stuff. One mother told us she cringed over a sailor suit for her son that was so cloying it made the Cracker Jack kid look like a sophisticate.
Best to stick with the basics: T-shirts, pull-on pants, onesies, socks, pajamas.
A Word to the Wise on Size
Giving clothes can be a tricky proposition, not only taste-wise, but also size-wise. Unless you have a knack for knowing people’s sizes, we suggest doing a little research before you shop.
Asking point-blank is not a bad idea, but if you want the gift to be a surprise, you’ll have to do some research. Look in closets and drawers and check those labels. If someone has a range of sizes (i.e. 10 to 14 for a woman), go with the number you see most often. If a woman is 5-foot-3 and under, she’s a petite. Men’s tailored shirts go by neck and arm sizes, pants by waist and inseam. For suits, check that label.
Children are tough to get exactly right, so confer with the parents. You can’t always go by what the label says since kids the same age can vary greatly in size. If in doubt, get one or two sizes larger--they can always grow into it.
When reporting or preventing a fashion crime, write to Fashion Police, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or fax to (213) 237-0732. Submissions cannot be returned. No telephone inquiries, please.
