Parents Shouldn’t Do Kids’ Work

My parents had a “you’re-on-your-own-kid” approach to my education from kindergarten up. This meant they expected me to do my homework and study without constantly badgering me about it. It didn’t matter how involved I was with band, cheerleading or after-school sports; I was the one responsible for managing my own time and studies.

So they’d slow down long enough in front of the local library to let me out with a friend and they’d pick us up when I called. They’d help with homework when requested. Other than that, they simply observed the results of my efforts when they signed the report card at the end of each quarter.

I learned a lot at school, but I think I gained more from my parents’ attitude. I learned how to be independent, how to study, how to research and budget my time. I learned that if I did not put in the effort by studying, I did not receive the reward or the A. I learned the value of my parents’ trust, not to mention the value of self-discipline.

And what learning experience would be complete without the flavor of failure? My self-confidence was never harmed from these experiences. Back then, self-esteem was not taught in the classroom; it was earned and learned through achievements. Thus, failing on a test served only to motivate me to study harder for the next one.

Today, I work at a library. I see parents come in all the time seeking our direction about doing research for a school project. Inevitably the parent explains that the child is at soccer practice, piano recital, dance rehearsal, etc. and she needs information for a report the child is working on.

I can only wonder what sort of an impact this approach has on today’s students. Many students today opt to cheat instead of actually studying, doing their own homework, planning appropriately in advance. Their excuse is that they’re too busy to keep up with the tedious tasks of learning that fall outside the classroom.

My concern is: When will life’s burdens ever slow down or lighten up for them? Ultimately these students are cheating to get into medical school or engineering programs, maybe even cheating to graduate from them as well. To some, this may seem harmless. It isn’t to me.

Without realizing it, parents are robbing their children of valuable lessons when they end up doing research for them.

Learning does occur outside the classroom. These skills help prepare students for future jobs and life in general.