This Season, Give Your Kids a Lesson in Values
The gift registry at one of the major toy stores is a new system that allows children to walk around the store with scanner wands and zap the bar codes of items they want. The selected items then appear on a list available to Dad, Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, and all the aunts and uncles. No muss, no fuss. No disappointment or tears. Your kids can have a perfect Christmas.
If you want your children to learn that the true meaning of Christmas is found in bigger, better, more expensive presents, sign them up for the gift registry, which probably will soon be available at all toy stores. It’s a sure way to help your kids become rabid consumers before they even reach the age of reason.
No doubt the marketing team that devised this concept has received high praise. After all, its job is to sell as much merchandise as possible. Our job as parents is simply to refuse to go along with such nonsense. Instead, we can teach a lesson of value.
A single mother of two in Dallas told me she had no choice but to simplify Christmas. She just didn’t have the money to do otherwise. “When my kids beg for the latest toy, I just tell them that we can’t afford it,” she said.
I asked if she would buy her kids everything they wanted if she could afford to. This question gave her pause. She admitted that money wasn’t the only reason she didn’t give her kids lots of expensive stuff at Christmas. It had to do with her values too. She wanted her children to learn that Christmas wasn’t about how many presents they have under the tree.
But she realized that she often used the excuse of not having money when her children asked her for things. The money excuse is an easy way out.
Many parents miss the opportunity to give their children a lesson about values because it’s easier to cry poor and leave it at that. This Christmas, when you tell your children why they won’t be signing up at the registry for the toy-of-the-moment, offer an explanation that reflects a positive value, and reinforce your family values early, clearly, and as often as you need to. When your kids beg for more, don’t make excuses. Tell them, “In our family, we celebrate Christmas in a simpler way. We believe Christmas means something more important than getting presents or getting the same thing everyone else is getting.”
Of course, if you really can’t afford it, don’t be afraid to tell your kids that. It’s a positive lesson to learn that you refuse to go into debt for things you can’t afford at the moment.
Stress generosity toward those in need as a model for your family. Make your home a place where everyone is considerate of others, not just selfishly concerned with their own wants and needs.
When you read the Christmas story to your children, ask them to tell you in their own words what it means to them. Have them help you figure out a way to express that meaning in your family celebration.
Place the emphasis on holiday activities done together to celebrate the season, instead of the material things you give and receive.
You can expect some resistance from your kids at first. After all, they have the combined pressure of media and peers to contend with. But remember that children still receive their most lasting values from parents. It’s within your power to make a positive impact on a new generation.
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Elaine St. James is the author of “Simplify Your Life” and “Simplify Your Life With Kids.” For questions or comments, write to her in care of Universal Press Syndicate, 4520 Main St., Kansas City, MO 64111, or e-mail her at estjames@silcom.com.
