Put the Passion on Pause
No glove, no love is what I always say. While I’m tempted at times to ignore this code of conduct, I always adhere to it anyway.
It’s easy to allow temptation and passion to override good judgment and sensibility, particularly when it comes to interrupting a sexual moment--even for a few seconds--to reach for that condom. But if you consider the consequences of a momentary lack of judgment, you realize that a short pause in passion can prevent a lifetime of misery and hurt--even death.
Magnums, Trojans, ribbed, unribbed, lubricated, unlubricated, spermicide, jelly--trying to find the right one is enough to make a man say, “Why bother!?” But it’s worth the bother. Condoms, while they protect against pregnancy when used correctly, also help to protect each person from contracting a sexually transmitted disease or HIV / AIDS. Despite years of public awareness campaigns and news stories urging condom use, however, the anecdotes I hear sometimes make me wonder if people are listening.
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A close friend was recently describing to me one of his Friday night escapades. I asked if he was protected. He said he didn’t worry about it because his partner for that evening was taking birth control pills. I sighed, asking him if he worried about AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia or gonorrhea. He said he considered it but decided that his partner didn’t look sick, seemed like a nice woman (in other words, she didn’t look like she slept around), and that he had a fair idea of her sexual history. So he figured he was safe.
Had he considered the possibility, I asked, that she might contract something from him--rather than vice versa? Perhaps something that he may not know he even had. After a long silence, he answered no.
Men may have an awareness that sex can be dangerous, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are conscious of this fact, especially at the crucial moment. It seems that, despite all the warnings, some men think that catching something serious, such as HIV / AIDS, only happens to other people. There is a lot of denial just for the sake of wanting to make sex fun and pressure-free.
Some men think that mentioning the idea of condom use spoils the spontaneity of the moment, or makes sex less enjoyable by reducing sensation. And some studies have found that some men mistakenly think that they can tell from appearances if someone has a disease or not.
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Although sex is between two people, the decision to use a condom often depends on one person having enough sense to know the risks involved. Both men and women should want to protect themselves, but when either one thinks otherwise, the other should encourage the use of protection, with the only other option being not to have sex without it.
Often, it is the male partner who dictates whether a condom will be used, either through his cooperation or support of its use. Studies have shown that some women are hesitant to take the initiative to protect themselves because of negative attitudes that men have toward condom use. They also worry that a man will think of a woman as too sexually experienced if she brings up the idea of using condoms during sex.
Thus, men need to take responsibility for themselves and for their partner by understanding that they are not only protecting themselves, but the other person as well. Furthermore, by protecting yourself now, you are also protecting every future partner--one of whom may be the one you choose to spend your life with.
If you consider the consequences of a momentary lack of judgment, you realize that a short pause in passion can save a lifetime of misery and hurt--even death.
