Sweating Away the Tribulations of the Day
For me, the last 12 months have been the best of times and the worst of times. My wonderful highs have been tempered by some unfortunate lows, most of them caused by people who have hurt me.
It would be easy to let hatred and resentment consume me. But if I do, then they win again. Besides, it’s clear to me how negative emotions that are allowed to fester can eventually lead to illness. One woman I know who still wallows in anger over her divorce three years ago is chronically sick. If she’s not suffering a cold or the flu, it’s fatigue or depression.
The direct link between emotions and physical health is well-established. Happy people seem to be healthier than unhappy people. And while it’s possible that those unhappy people may have been made so by their illnesses, I believe strongly that we can choose to affect our well-being by what we do and think. I’ve built my life and career around that belief.
True, every day has its inherent ups and downs. And bad things frequently happen to good people. That’s the natural order. But I’d rather be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right. It’s a choice I make.
I make that choice because I’ve seen the negative consequences of the alternative. Let’s say someone is done an injustice--anything from an unintentional slight to a genuine emotional hurt. At that point a process begins. Allowed or even encouraged to grow, that pain will build. And build. Soon, just thinking about the grievance will consume inordinate time and energy--as will planning revenge. In time, when the memory of what caused the pain fades into shadow, its resonance continues on automatic pilot in the unconscious mind.
Now, the distress begins showing up in the body: tightness in the jaw that could eventually become TMJ syndrome (temporomandibular joint syndrome), which causes pain in the face, head and jaw; chronic tension in the neck or back that may someday create musculoskeletal problems; nervous stomach; diminished immune system; and heart disease.
And then, who knows?
That’s why I make it a point to exorcise my demons--usually by exercising. Example: Last week before my kick-boxing class, I was really upset at someone who’d taken advantage of me. Seething at his image in my mind’s eye the whole time I was wrapping my hands and putting on my gloves, I didn’t begin to loosen up until the music began. A few stretches later the bags were rolled out for practicing punch and kick combinations--uppercut, uppercut, left hook, right hook, right roundhouse kick. Bobbing and weaving between moves, the sweat poured off me--and so did my grudge. It wasn’t until the class ended that I realized my 10 pounds worth of anger had dissipated.
Forgiveness. That’s the bigger issue here. In the fight to achieve and maintain good health, one of our most powerful weapons is the ability to let go, to begin each day anew, unburdened by regret and anger.
It’s for purely pragmatic, selfish reasons--because I want to be as healthy and happy as possible--that I’ve trained myself not to obsess about matters over which I have no control. When I find myself thinking obsessively about something bad that’s happened, I first notice my behavior. Then I make a concerted effort to change my thinking in a more positive direction.
Through honesty and confrontation, it’s possible to take a damaged relationship to a higher level than before. What’s needed is for both parties to step back and assess where their own behavior contributed to the situation. The goal of forgiveness is not just to absolve the guilty party of his or her sins; it’s to make yourself whole so that you don’t carry resentment with you on an emotional or physical level.
Believe me, exercise is incredibly helpful to this whole process. When I need to let go of something that’s troubling me, I instinctively rely on physical exertion to get me going in the right direction. Whether it’s a long run or walk, yoga, kick boxing, weight training, bike riding or some other vigorous activity, exercising triggers emotional release. Afterward I usually feel restored and refreshed. Because grudges, like calories, can’t stand up to a sweat.
Copyright 1998 by Kathy Smith