DON’T WORRY, ATLANTA STILL HAS PLENTY OF IZZYS LEFT

A “Snowlet” has become the Cabbage Patch Doll or Tickle Me Elmo of the Winter Olympics, a cute stuffed toy, near-impossible to find.

That is, until I passed a storefront in a busy Nagano shopping district.

There they were! Snowlets! Two of them!

My friend Tony wanted a couple for his kids. I think to get a Snowlet, my friend Tony would have offered a couple of his kids.

“I’ll take two,” I told the saleslady.

“Nani?” she replied. (“What?”)

“Snowlets o kudasai!” I said, showing off. (“I would like Snowlets.”)

“Nani?” she replied. (“What are you saying, you large, strange-looking American who is blocking my store’s door?”)

“Ikura desu ka?” I persisted. (“How much?”)

“Kamawanai de kudasai,” she replied. (“Leave me alone, you dumb-as-an-ox creature undoubtedly from Los Angeles who can’t speak Japanese and probably trashed the Olympic village.”)

Exasperated, she pointed to a sign.

LOTTERY, it read.

The two Snowlets were being raffled off. Buy a ticket, take a chance at winning a Snowlet.

“Oh,” I said. “Gomen nasai!” (“Sorry.”)

In Japanese, I believe her parting words to me were something along the lines of, “Aren’t you a little old to be sleeping with Snowlets, you jackal who is probably a journalist?”

BEING A FAIR-WEATHER FAN NOT RESTRICTED TO AMERICANS

“When I came in seventh in the 3,000 meters, they came to me and told me, ‘You’re not an athlete. That was no result. You should pack your bag and go home,’ ” speedskater Lyudmila Prokasheva said of Kazakhstan’s team officials.

After winning a bronze medal in a later race, “The president of the National Olympic Committee came up and said, ‘Congratulations! That’s exactly what we wanted!’ and that was the end of his interest.”

I had no idea that George Steinbrenner was a Kazakhstan Olympic official.