‘Blonde’ Searches for New Spin on Old Theme

Flash! The fashion industry is a skin-deep, sexist, reality-distorting business that perpetuates false expectations among men and objectifies women. This just in, too: Television soap operas are facile melodramas exploiting the Sturm und Drang of everyday human relationships. And, stop the presses! Most gorgeous blonds are made, not born.

When Tom DiCillo (“Living in Oblivion”) set up his targets for his episodic satire “The Real Blonde,” he made sure he wouldn’t miss any of them. Media superficiality and the cult of pretty have been fair game since the dawn of the photo age, maybe since the first cave-wall centerfold. But by interweaving a very contemporary love story into these themes, DiCillo has at least given it all a fresh spin.

The gimmicky title comes from a randy subplot about a narcissistic, womanizing soap opera star (Maxwell Caulfield) who’s obsessed with finding a head-to-toe natural blond. The story is related to the rest of the movie by its theme--Caulfield’s Bob is the ultimate victim of the myth of perfection--but it plays as pure burlesque, a dirty joke expanded into a series of overdrawn, fitfully funny sketches.

Our main interest in “The Real Blonde” is the relationship between Joe (Matthew Modine), a New York waiter and would-be actor, and his girlfriend Mary (Catherine Keener), a makeup artist for a biker-chic fashion photographer (Marlo Thomas). Joe and Mary share a grungy downtown apartment, and are hitting a dead end in their six-year relationship because Joe’s self-esteem has collapsed and Mary’s latent hostilities toward all men in general are inching toward the surface.

Something has to happen for each of them if they’re to remain a couple, and their separate adventures, along with Bob’s recurring pursuit of a true blond, give the film a hit-and-miss anecdotal structure that tends to keep the audience at an emotional distance. The most poignant moment in the film is one when Joe expresses his feelings for Mary, and she’s nowhere to be seen. He’s ad-libbing a love scene while auditioning for a movie role.

Modine, one of our most under-used if not underrated actors, is brilliant in that pivotal scene, where Joe’s talent and emotional depth are simultaneously revealed to him, to us and to the awe-struck film people looking on. But there are too many interruptions, too many diversionary trips to Mary’s martial arts class, and to Bob’s blond pursuit, for us to develop much of a rooting interest in these characters’ lives.

Still, there are good moments throughout. In one, Joe’s disdain for a sentimental art-house hit named “Il Piano” (yes, the one with a naked Harvey Keitel) gets an entire restaurant squabbling. In another, he provides the perfect put-down of a young anti-Semite who posits the theory that the Holocaust was a fraud. And you’ll love the payoff when Bob finally goes to bed with his real blond.

Caulfield, who’s done some stints on daytime TV, has a great time mocking the soap world, and Daryl Hannah is terrific as the yellow-haired co-star who ends his search. The large supporting cast includes Buck Henry, as Mary’s lecherous shrink; Denis Leary, as her exploitative self-defense instructor; Elizabeth Berkley, as a young actress with more enthusiasm than talent; and Thomas, as the fashion photographer with an uncanny ability to turn catastrophes into art.

* MPAA rating: R for sexuality and language. Times guidelines: adult themes and the suggestion of violence against women.

‘The Real Blonde’

Matthew Modine: Joe

Catherine Keener: Mary

Daryl Hannah: Kelly

Maxwell Caulfield: Bob

Elizabeth Berkley: Tina

Marlo Thomas: Blair

Bridgette Wilson: Sahara

Buck Henry: Dr. Leuter

Christopher Lloyd: Ernst

Kathleen Turner: Dee Dee Taylor

Denis Leary: Doug

Lakeshore Entertainment and Paramount Pictures present a Marcus Viscidi production of a Tom DiCillo film. Written and directed by Tom DiCillo. Produced by Marcus Viscidi and Tom Rosenberg. Executive producers, Sigurjon Sighvatsson, Ted Tennebaum and Terry McKay. Co-producer Meredith Zamsky. Director of photography, Frank Prinzi. Production designer, Christopher Nowak. Edited by Camilla Toniolo and Keiko Deguchi. Costume designer, Jennifer Von Mayrhauser. Music by Jim Farmer. Running time: 1 hour and 45 minutes.

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* Exclusively at the Cineplex Beverly Center, La Cienega at Beverly Boulevard, Beverly Hills, (310) 652-7760; AMC Century 14, 10250 Santa Monica Blvd., Century City, (310) 553-8900; Mann’s Criterion, 1313 Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica, (310) 248-MANN, # 019.