Predictably, Psychics Botch ’97 Forecasts

Had the psychics been right, 1997 would have gone down in history as the year rocker Mick Jagger became a member of Parliament and former television anchorman Walter Cronkite a critically acclaimed lounge singer.

O.J. Simpson would be a big star on French television as the host of a “whodunit” show, and actor John Travolta a hero for landing a commercial jetliner when its crew came down with food poisoning.

Princess Diana would be alive too, though either weighing 215 pounds because of a thyroid ailment or living in Africa while training as an Olympic long-distance runner, depending on which psychic you believed.

There was little--make that nothing--that the psychics got right in their predictions for the National Enquirer, National Examiner and other tabloids. So says the Skeptical Inquirer.

The magazine published in the Buffalo suburb of Amherst said it applies scientific method to claims of the paranormal. The psychics’ collective strikeout came as no surprise to Gene Emery, who has been checking the forecasts for the magazine since 1979.

“They are consistent,” he said.

Since 1979, Emery has found only one prediction that came half-true.

That was in 1993, when a National Enquirer psychic said Florida would be hit hard by an earthquake weeks after being devastated by the worst hurricane in state history. The timing of the forecast was right for Hurricane Andrew, but there was no temblor.

Among other predictions for 1997:

* Barbra Streisand was to convert Rush Limbaugh into a liberal Democrat.

* Pamela Anderson Lee was to either become a Washington lobbyist or star with Howard Stern in a rock musical version of “Gone With the Wind.”

* Sarah Ferguson was to join the cast of “Melrose Place” and marry Calvin Klein.

* Madonna, concerned about the quality of children’s television shows, was to revive the Mickey Mouse Club and cast herself as its star.

Emery, who also writes a column for the Skeptical Inquirer, said he keeps track of the psychic flops to prove a point.

“I do this as an annual reality check to people who really want to know whether these folks have any talent,” he said, “and it’s become clear over the years that they don’t.”

Some may be tempted to toast what did not happen as they say goodbye to 1997.

Kathie Lee Gifford may have attracted more tabloid attention than she cared to. But at least she wasn’t abducted by aliens and dropped to wander for five weeks in the Colorado wilderness, as one soothsayer predicted.

Undaunted by their 1997 misses, the psychics already are polishing their crystal balls for 1998. Look for a cure for the common cold, a drink for nighttime joggers that will make their skin glow in the dark and the need to kill all cats to stop the spread of a virus that blinds humans.

And then look for Emery’s column.