The Good, Bad and the Ugh-ly

I saw “As Good as It Gets” last week. You know, the Jack Nicholson movie that is being talked about by everyone who isn’t talking about “Titanic.”

In addition to being funny, it gave me an idea for a column.

As good as it gets: Talk about your sweet luck. The TV locals got in one last crack Wednesday, the last day of 1997. The occasion was a big bazoom of a trans-county freeway chase that lasted at least a couple of hours, and was the kind of thing your true, college-educated, highly skilled journalist lives for.

Admittedly coming to this quite late, I was in my car, after doing some last-minute Christmas shopping, when I heard on the radio that police were chasing an armed and dangerous motorist, a guy suspected of murder.

It doesn’t take much to get my adrenaline pumping, so naturally I rushed home and turned on my many TV sets so that I could see the live coverage on seven stations.

All right, that’s hyperbole. Only six, or 5 1/2. Fast-striking KCBS-TV Channel 2 must have been in emotional knots because it was obligated to carry the CBS telecast of Arizona State and Iowa playing in the Northwest Sun Bowl, and couldn’t get its fine journalists on the air to cover this story in its usual comprehensive way. And while I was watching, KCOP-TV Channel 13 checked in live long enough only to alert viewers of “Jenny Jones” or “Montel Williams” (I don’t recall which) that someone resembling many of the guests on daytime talk shows was on the road in full flight from police.

However, those other chase specialists--KABC-TV Channel 7, KNBC-TV Channel 4, KTTV-TV Channel 11, KTLA-TV Channel 5 and KCAL-TV Channel 9--were on this story like a laser.

By the time I reached my post, the chase was winding down, the fleeing suspect had slowed considerably, and it was now a low-speed pursuit. In fact, the guy was just creeping along, with squad cars close behind. This gave some of the journalists breathlessly covering this story time to weigh in with some calm, reasoned, thoughtful analysis.

Someone (I can’t remember who) said the suspect might now take his own life, because “this is the way these things usually end up.” That would have been exciting. A suicide--live on the air. What an exhilarating way to ring in the new year.

On Channel 7, anchor Christine Lund had a different take. Speaking with a savvy gained from years of experience, she said she was pretty sure that--given how much of a pain this guy had been by allegedly waving his gun threateningly and leading cops on this long chase--they would “evaporate him.” Yup, she sounded pretty positive. “Evaporate him.” Wow. For me, watching four screens simultaneously, the evaporation would come in quadruplicate. Now I was really excited.

As bad as it gets: So what happened? Refusing to cooperate with TV and all of the rest of us who had invested so much time and emotion in this story in hopes of it ending with a big bang, what did the suspect do? The jerk thoughtlessly halted his car and, after a few minutes, got out and peacefully surrendered. Downer.

As good as it gets: Local stations are to be commended for continuing to allot huge chunks of air time, nearly always at the top of newscasts, to reporting violent crime and related mayhem. Let’s hear it for eternal vigilance.

As bad as it gets: Murder has dramatically declined in Los Angeles (and elsewhere in the U.S.), raising the bleak prospect of stations someday having no homicides to report. Bummer.

As good as it gets: It was a real honor for me to be mentioned and quoted in the year-end nationally syndicated column of that insightful, fair-minded conservative commentator, L. Brent Bozell III, who is chairman of the watchdog Media Research Center.

Noting that I was voted the “Clinton Camelot Award” by the Media Research Center, which earned me a spot among its “best notable quotables of 1997,” Bozell wrote: “Two days after President Clinton delivered a thoroughly unremarkable inauguration speech, L.A. Times TV writer Howard Rosenberg’s heart was still aflutter.” Bozell then quoted the lead from my column about Clinton: “His sturdy jaw precedes him. He shines from sea to shining sea. Is this president a candidate for Mt. Rushmore or what?”

Bozell added that I had “gushed uncontrollable,” citing as proof this quote from my column: “In fact, when it comes to influencing the public, a single medley of expressions from Clinton may be worth much more, to much of America, than every ugly accusation Paula Jones can muster.”

As bad as it gets: It’s devastating to learn that one of your most revered icons has such limited reading and cognitive skills. Actually, the column quoted stunningly out of context by Bozell was not at all about the president’s speech, per se. Quite the opposite. Its point was that Clinton shared with Ronald Reagan an ability to charm and manipulate the camera by sheer force of personality and that, in the case of Clinton’s carefully crafted TV image of devoutness, “it’s impossible to know where old-time religion ends and old-time PR begins.” Nonetheless, I’ll always cherish the award and remain aflutter over the Big Boze.

As good as it gets: I’m sure you shared the emotional high I got hearing all of those inspirational holiday messages on TV urging Americans to think less materialistically and instead live their lives in the true spirit of Christmas.

As bad as it gets: If we followed that advice, the stores would be empty during the Christmas season, retailers would vanish and the economy would collapse.

As good as it gets: “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” was again one of the most sung songs on TV during the Christmas season.

As bad as it gets: One of the singers was President Clinton.