Punch Lines

A Boiler: “It’s been hot again. It’s been so hot in the parking lot, people are sitting in the front seats of their GM cars just to get the breeze from the exploding air bags.” (Jay Leno)

Fashion Flag: Ralph Lauren has donated $10 million to help restore the flag that inspired “The Star Spangled Banner.” “However, Ralph is insisting the colors be changed to a more fashionable mauve, cream and lavender.” (Premiere Radio)

Blond Is Bliss: Actress-model Pamela Lee says she’s keeping her married name even though she is divorcing rock singer Tommy Lee. “She doesn’t want to throw away all that time she spent learning how to spell it.” (Premiere Radio)

Charlie Online: Charles Manson has a Web site now. “I think it’s Charles Manson. Slash / slash / slash dot slash / slash.” (Leno)

Far Starr: “You think Ken Starr’s gone a little too far? Now he’s trying to confirm where Bill Clinton slept on a number of nights over the last two years. I don’t think this guy’s a prosecutor; I think he’s a wife now. I think he’s jealous. I think he is in love with Clinton.” (Leno)

Snow Job: The two local snowboarders who had to be rescued earlier this year are being made to pay the rescue costs because they knowingly went out of the bounds marked in a ski area. “If you have to be paid to rescue someone for going out of bounds, then Vernon Jordan would be a millionaire.” (Jeff Corveau)

Bad Girl: Whitewater convict Susan McDougal will stand trial in L.A. for embezzling during the time she was a house-sitter for conductor Zubin Mehta. “She’s been in trouble all her life. When McDougal was only 4 years old, she was the repaint girl in a hot tricycle ring.” (Argus Hamilton)

The New Jerry: The American Red Cross has issued a nationwide appeal for blood, saying supplies are low across the country. “Red Cross officials are completely dumbfounded by the shortage, especially since the ‘Jerry Springer Show’ has cut out all its staged violence.” (Joshua Sostrin)

The ABCs of Film: Emmy-winning “NYPD Blue” writer David Milch will host a seminar on “How to Write for the ABC Show”: “Step 1: When in doubt, show somebody’s butt.” (Premiere Radio)

* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.