Elprez Ntrubl Again

Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV.

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PREZDNT WSHNGTN, THISS MORN 2OF DA

NETWRKS ARE CARRYN REPORTS ZAT AT1

TIME YOU CHOPD DWN ACHERRI TREEE.

HOWDOU REAKT?

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NNOWW YOUUU LISN2ME. IWASWAS

NVREVR NVOLVED INNN ANY IMPROPR

TRIMN, CUTTIN ORR REMOVAL UV ANNEE

SHRUBS, GREENRY OR LNDSKPN. NEVER!

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MRPREZZ, RUSAYIN YA CHOPPED DOWNN

THIS TREEEE INA PROPERR MANNER?

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I BELV WUT ISED SPEEKS FER ITSELF.

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SIR, WITHALL DOO RESPECT, ITZ CNFUSIN.

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LETMEE JUSTSAY THS. THE AMRICAN PEEPL

RRR NTITLED 2HEAR ABOUT WUTSUPP WITH

ZE CHRYTRE. BUT NOTNOW. L8R. MCHL8RR.

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GENRL WASHNTN, RELIABL SOURCES CLOS

2D NDPNDNT PRSCUTR INSIST UR AX HAZ

DNA ONIT FROMD CHRRRY TREEE IN

QWSTION. WUDDYU KARE2 RESPOND?

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YESSS. DEE ENN AAY. WATSDAT?

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MRPREZ, RU ONDALVL?

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HELLE UNOME! CANNOT TEL ALIE

AND ALLDATT GUDSTFF. GOASK MARTHHA.

*For PL8SPK translation, please see Page 36.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

El Prez in Trouble Again

President Washington, this morning two of the networks are carrying reports that at one time you chopped down a cherry tree. How do you react?

Now you listen to me. I was never ever involved in any improper trimming, cutting or removal of any shrubs, greenery or landscaping. Never!

Mr. President, are you saying you chopped down this tree in a proper manner?

I believe what I said speaks for itself.

Sir, with all due respect, it’s confusing.

Let me just say this. The American people are entitled to hear about what’s up with the cherry tree. But not now. Later. Much Later.

Gen. Washington, reliable sources close to the independent prosecutor insist your ax has DNA on it from the cherry tree in question. Would you care to respond?

Yes. DNA. What’s that?

Mr. President, are you on the level?

Hell, you know me! Can not tell a lie and all that good stuff. Go ask Martha.