Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV.
PREZDNT WSHNGTN, THISS MORN 2OF DA
NETWRKS ARE CARRYN REPORTS ZAT AT1
TIME YOU CHOPD DWN ACHERRI TREEE.
NNOWW YOUUU LISN2ME. IWASWAS
NVREVR NVOLVED INNN ANY IMPROPR
TRIMN, CUTTIN ORR REMOVAL UV ANNEE
SHRUBS, GREENRY OR LNDSKPN. NEVER!
MRPREZZ, RUSAYIN YA CHOPPED DOWNN
THIS TREEEE INA PROPERR MANNER?
I BELV WUT ISED SPEEKS FER ITSELF.
SIR, WITHALL DOO RESPECT, ITZ CNFUSIN.
LETMEE JUSTSAY THS. THE AMRICAN PEEPL
RRR NTITLED 2HEAR ABOUT WUTSUPP WITH
ZE CHRYTRE. BUT NOTNOW. L8R. MCHL8RR.
GENRL WASHNTN, RELIABL SOURCES CLOS
2D NDPNDNT PRSCUTR INSIST UR AX HAZ
DNA ONIT FROMD CHRRRY TREEE IN
QWSTION. WUDDYU KARE2 RESPOND?
YESSS. DEE ENN AAY. WATSDAT?
MRPREZ, RU ONDALVL?
HELLE UNOME! CANNOT TEL ALIE
AND ALLDATT GUDSTFF. GOASK MARTHHA.
*For PL8SPK translation, please see Page 36.
(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)
El Prez in Trouble Again
President Washington, this morning two of the networks are carrying reports that at one time you chopped down a cherry tree. How do you react?
Now you listen to me. I was never ever involved in any improper trimming, cutting or removal of any shrubs, greenery or landscaping. Never!
Mr. President, are you saying you chopped down this tree in a proper manner?
I believe what I said speaks for itself.
Sir, with all due respect, it's confusing.
Let me just say this. The American people are entitled to hear about what's up with the cherry tree. But not now. Later. Much Later.
Gen. Washington, reliable sources close to the independent prosecutor insist your ax has DNA on it from the cherry tree in question. Would you care to respond?
Yes. DNA. What's that?
Mr. President, are you on the level?
Hell, you know me! Can not tell a lie and all that good stuff. Go ask Martha.