The Dufus as President? No Chance in 2000

“My first pledge will be to restore integrity to the White House. And I’ll fire anyone who has lied to the American people or the United States Congress.”

Al Gore, presidential candidate, Feb. 27, 1988

”. . . If the charges were to be proven, then the Senate would owe it to the nation to reject his nomination. . . . I’m troubled that he has not shown any caution in the conduct of his public life.”

Al Gore, explaining in Senate debate his opposition

to Clarence Thomas’ Supreme Court nomination,

Oct. 8, 1991

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On the first day of spring this year, life was a little sunnier for our vice president. On that day, Al Gore was breezing through Republican strongholds in Orange County stumping for Democratic poster person Loretta Sanchez. In March, his response to Clinton questions was, “The president has denied the charges, and I believe it.”

While circumstances have changed over the months, Gore has remained the loyal stooge. Just last week, he chatted up wavering Democrats in a failed attempt to derail an unfettered impeachment inquiry by the House Judiciary Committee. A beholden Sanchez walked the “Save Bill” plank along with John Conyers and Barney Frank, but 31 of her colleagues joined Republicans in shunning the whitewash that left-wingers yearn for.

As Gore was dialing for the defense amid the crumbling stonewall, one wonders if he recalled his chest-thumping pledge as aspiring president to “fire anyone who has lied to the American people.” Was he still contemptuous of someone who has “not shown any caution in the conduct of his public life”?

Why pick on Gore? After all, the man who heretofore in public arenas served as bumptious mouthpiece for the president has throttled back. From Superveep to Clark Kent. Silent Al even dodges the Sunday talk shows where we could use a break from the snarling James Carville.

We shine the spotlight on Gore precisely because the impeachment process going forward is--as intended by the Constitution--a political one. And while the nation ponders a possible Gore regime, many Republicans wrongly calculate whether Clinton’s exiting the presidency should be weighed against bestowing upon Gore in 2000 the strengths of a coronated incumbency.

First, and most important, the allegations of crimes committed by Clinton, and whether they justify removing him from office, must be weighed on their merit, not on speculative electoral predictions. In our third century of democracy, and if the voters so decide, we could survive Gore if that was the price for flushing out a president deemed by the deliberative process to deserve impeachment and conviction.

But second, what a howler to think that Gore could be elected to the presidency. Given his policy predilections, his record and positions, his mumbling malapropisms and unctuous servitude to Bill and Hillary, where are the votes, much less the beef?

Picture the snooze meter at work when Gore lays out his vision for America. He’s Dukakis with a bald spot. Jimmy Carter without the toothy grin. Bottom line: A nation looking for post-scandal inspiration in the third millennium hardly will seek out a man whose name would go into a thesaurus next to the word “wooden.”

There’s also Gore the dufus. As the Chicago Bulls won the NBA championship in June, he exulted of America’s best-known basketball star: “I tell you, that Michael Jackson is unbelievable, isn’t he?” Lesson one: A slam dunk doesn’t look like the moon walk. Lesson two: Michael Jackson was Captain Eo, not captain of the Bulls.

Then there are the character traits. For raw political gain in 1996, Gore blamed the tobacco industry for the 1984 death of his sister. But four years after she died, this hypocrite had bragged to North Carolinians of being a tobacco farmer himself. And the podium preacher who supports taxing Americans to coerce a social conscience last year gave a scrawny $353 in charitable contributions on earnings of nearly $200,000.

Finally, the baggage. Adding to the taint of Clinton, Gore is the subject of a Justice Department investigation into whether an independent counsel should be appointed to determine if he lied about political fund-raising calls from the White House.

It’s a safe bet that when Gore pledged to “restore integrity to the White House,” he wasn’t thinking of himself as the cause.