Putting the Byte on Passersby
Welcome to the era of cyber-begging. Scott Wilson of Long Beach observed a street person in downtown L.A. who was holding a sign that read, “www.50.com.” The back side of the sign, obviously directed at technophobes, made it clear he wanted 50 cents. In any case, the panhandler didn’t seem to be downloading any coins from anybody.
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A CANDIDATE WHO’S BEHIND THE TIMES? A wise guy could ask that of the Republicans’ U.S. Senate hopeful after his staff sent out a news release saying “Matt Fong will deliver a speech to the Wednesday Morning Club on Thursday. . . .”
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HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU! For today’s Only in L.A. Bargain Special, we begin with a dentist’s crown special for $295 (compared with the usual $80 price), which was spotted by Sarabeth Rothfeld of Woodland Hills.
Paul Stone of Moorpark came upon a restaurant that charges almost $800 more if you want to bring your kids to its champagne brunch. (“We’d get a sitter,” Stone commented.)
And, finally, Dick Wilson of San Pedro saw an ad that caused him to recall nostalgically when “wheels used to be standard equipment on a new car.”
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MORE FLOWERY PROSE: John Gilhuly of San Pedro recently noticed a photo in this column of the Burrito Brothers restaurant that carried a “We Sell Engines” banner. To which your columnist quipped: “Corn or flower fan belts?”
Obviously, I should have said “flour” fan belts. Gilhuly wondered whether I’d spent too much time at the site of another joint I mentioned that day: a place that advertised itself as a “bear”-wine bar.
You try to do a little columnist research and the readers get right on your case.
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L.A. VERSE: It’s time for a musical interlude in our search for the best ditty about Main through Figueroa streets. After all, there are plenty of other roads in the Southland. Stuart Stampke was kind enough to enclose the lyrics of “Pico and Sepulveda,” as recorded by the Roto Rooter Good Time Christmas Band in 1974.
All together now for my favorite part:
Doheny, Cahuenga, La Brea, Tar Pits, Tar Pits!
La Jolla, Sequoia, La Brea, Tar Pits, Tar Pits!
You can take Alvarado, Santa Monica,
You can take Alvarado, Santa Monica,
Even Beverly Drive.
Vine may be fine, but for mine I want to feel alive!
And settle down in my La Brea Tar Pits.
(Not to be confused with the 1940s recording in which Bing Crosby vowed to “settle down and never more roam, and make the San Fernando Valley my home.”)
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INFORMATION OVERLOAD: Kindergarten is a time when you’re suddenly taught a lot of stuff, not all of it easy to remember. Take the young man in Irl Noble’s class at Fremont Elementary School in Long Beach. Assigned to lead the pledge of allegiance, he was supposed to say, “Put your right hand on your heart.” Instead, he said: “Put your hand on your left heart.”
miscelLAny:
Everyone is preoccupied with driving these days. The Santa Barbara Botanical Garden got a pamphlet back from the printer that mistakenly referred to the business as the Santa Barbara Botanical Garage. I repeat: Corn or flower fan belts?
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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.